So Grandpa worked for the United Auto Workers back in the day, and frequently ended up on strike, and quickly developed a reputation as That Guy Who Feeds Strays, then later as That Guy Who Takes In Your Unwanted Pets.
Which is how mom grew up in a house with multiple dogs, cats, birds, reptiles and the occasional large insect as pets. It is also how Grandpa came home with a small gray-and white cat that was so dumb they actually named him Stupid.
Stupid was many varieties of stupid. He’d be walking along the edge of the table, apparently forget what he was doing, start listing to the side, and fall off. He’d get up onto the roof to chase birds- and run full-speed straight off the roof. He’d try to climb the walls to get at the canary, then try to spider-man his way across the ceiling, but would forget how gravity works and pancake himself on the floor while Tweety Bird laughed tried to crap on him.
Besides the clumsiness, Stupid also would try to fight his reflection, fight the two much larger and more collected cats, fight the Saint Bernard, and one one notably nearly fatal occasion, tried to fight a visiting boa constrictor.
He had a tremendous fondness for fruits, particularly banana, to the point where he’d get trapped in the refrigerator trying to get to them.
Stupid was tremendously affectionate though, and would sleep in great-Grandpa Adam’s lap while he was “having lunch with the queen” in his later years, bring mom her stuffed animals when she cried, and sat with Aunt Alice the whole time she had chicken pox.
When he was about 10, Stupid got out of the house and disappeared into the woods, and when he didn’t return after the entire month of January, the family assumed he’d probably gone to Dumb Kitty Heaven where the tables are low and the birds can’t fly. And they were probably right.
That spring however, a little gray and white kitten with identical markings turned up in the yard, and Grandpa, the sap, insisted that the family take it in. The kitten walked off tables, fought the bathroom mirror, ran off the roof, and got trapped in the fridge after eating three bananas.
He was dubbed Dummy, Son Of Stupid.
oh please oh please expound on the profoundly stupid cat!
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