Unpopular opinion: straight people using “partner” to refer to their SO actually helps normalize the term so that lgbt folx can use it without automatically outing themselves to strangers. It also helps other straight ppl get comfortable with the fact that strangers aren’t entitled to information about other people’s gender or sexuality.
Give op their hard-earned notes
Tbh I hear “partner” and assume gay, I didn’t know straights used it. Very fair point, OP
I hear ‘partner’ and think ‘gay’ too. A girl at work used it for months and I just went with it. When she would say ‘he’ I even thought maybe he was trans*. Anyways, someone using partner makes me more comfortable and I came out to her. She was just an intelligent straight girl that liked the term and was knowledgeable in human sexuality so definitely someone I should have felt comfortable coming out too. It’s a good sign of a straight person uses it IMO.
As a mental health clinician, this is actually my blanket term when discussing any romantic relationship. I agree it normalizes it, but I also think it’s a relatively safe term to use to describe most romantic relationships without making any assumptions about the person’s orientation or identity. I also use the word “partnered” when describing a monogamous relationship status.
The term “partner” also removes the implied hierarchy of boyfriend/girlfriend vs husband/wife. This is relevant both to non-monogamous people, and unmarried individuals for whom the importance of their relationship isn’t dictated by its legal status.
also you can make cowboy jokes
My husband and I used “partner” for years before we were married. We still use it sometimes, although not much. When you’re over 30, “boyfriend/girlfriend” can feel awkward, especially if you’ve been living together for years. It also seems a bit odd to refer to a spouse as “partner.”
When I hear someone talking about their “partner,” I assume it’s a committed romantic relationship; I don’t assume I know what genders are involved.
I’ve also occasionally heard “spouse” used when someone’s gender isn’t known – like when a coworker knows you’re married but doesn’t know the details, they might ask, “is your spouse coming to the company picnic?” But they’d probably expect an answer like, “no, my wife is working that day” or “sure, and my husband can bring a cooler of ice, if that’d help.” I’ve also seen things like “Company Picnic Next Month – Spouses Welcome” instead of “Husbands and Wives welcome.”
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