counsellorsuggestion:

learning how not to fish for compliments can really help how you interact with others. here’s some common phrases i’ve noticed:

• “here’s my shitty art”
• “lol i’m so ugly in this selfie”
• “you’re so creative. i’m nowhere near as creative as you”
• “your writing is amazing! i wish mine was that good”

what all of these have in common is that they all involve putting yourself down. when you do that, those around you feel obligated to compliment you, which can make them feel frustrated that they have to just to be polite. not only that, but by talking yourself down you feel worse about yourself. the latter two phrases also centre your problems, distracting the attention from the person you’re trying to compliment. that often makes them feel bad!

here’s how to fix those phrases:

• “here’s my art”
• “selfie time!”
• “you’re so creative. how do you do it?”
• “your writing is amazing! do you have any tips?”

by cutting out the negativity, you make it so nobody feels obligated to compliment you. you’ll usually get more compliments this way because people don’t feel uncomfortable! the latter two phrases now also centre the artist and their knowledge. not only do they make the artist feel good, they also might score you some good advice.

this strategy will also help to boost your confidence in the long run. if you stop prefacing every compliment with negativity, you’ll be able to internalise them better.