people who complain about dinosaurs “not being scary anymore” because its been discovered they have feathers and are closely related to/ancestors of birds are so bizarre like
its not about how scary they are, they are/were real life animals and what matters is learning more about them, not how well they fit into your science fiction horror film lol
can you imagine a 13 foot chicken running at you with full intent to eat you??? thats fucking terrifying holy shit
peacocks are synonymous with vain, frivolous beauty and they will attack cars. they will attack you while you try to get to your car. they’re like six feet of useless feathers and they will destroy you. imagine if they were carnivorous and had functional spurs.
a t-rex could look like a gay disco ball and i guarantee that you would fucking book it if it had a problem with you
listen
listen
have you ever met a swan
if anything the birdier they get the scarier they are
Australia literally fought a war against giant birds AND FUCKING LOST
“Oh man, I can’t deal with birds ‘cause they’re dinosaurs and sometimes it’s like they get this glint in their eyes and they remember.”
“Have you ever interacted with a goose? ‘Cause those things are dicks.”
If chickens were still the size of a T-Rex we’d all be dead. No question.
Feathered creatures that give some serious lie to the idea that feathered dinosaurs ain’t scary:
This is a bearded vulture, or lammergeier. It’s four feet long and has a nine foot wingspan and it eats bones.
This is a shoebill stork. It dropped the duck without biting down shortly after the picture was taken, but if it had decided not to-
… it could have been the end of the road for that duck.
This is the last thing a fish sees before a macaroni penguin eats it.
This is a secretary bird in the act of demonstrating to Lord Voldemort that he came to the wrong neighborhood, ese.
This is a goose.
This is a vulture.
This is a cassowary on the attack.
Be glad I couldn’t find the actual gif of a pelican swallowing a fish, because it’s freakin’ Lovecraftian in its HEADS SHOULD NOT BEND THAT WAY factor. You’ll have to settle for the idea of a feathered dinosaur suddenly going GLORP and devouring its victims whole just like this lady here.
Steven Spielberg didn’t create these. These are the feet of an emu.
And this is what happens when a swan (this one is named Asboy; his father was Mr. Asbo, the first swan in the UK to get named after an anti-social behavior order in ‘honor’ of his tendency to attack boaters) decides it doesn’t like you. I should probably note that this one attacked a cow.
Respect the feathered dinosaur, yo.
Terrifying. The last two illustrate why you did not fuck around with the Children of Lir.
I suspected that a dinosaur could have been feathered after I heard that a T-Rex is the chickens’ ancestor.
For those who think dinos aren’t cool because they’re feathered…whatever, mutherfuckers. Evolution doesn’t give two shits what you think is cool or not.
You showed a cassowary on the attack, but forgot to show what exactly it’s attacking with. Their feet are nearly identical to the Emu’s, except for one minor, teeny tiny detail: A five-inch claw for killing motherfuckers, raptor-style.
This is like the “fuck birds master post” and I love it because Honestly, Fuck. Birds.
See, this, I think, is what I love about Kronk. On the shallowest surface level, he fills the “low IQ sidekick” role. But ONLY on the shallowest surface level.
I’d have to watch the movie again to go into any detail, but Kronk is actually the smartest damn person IN this movie. There’s nothing he doesn’t know, he’s got all this specialized knowledge, dude is probably horrifically well read. He’s NOT stupid, he’s just eager to please and doesn’t have a proper “No” threshhold.
In the second gif, he’s like – “No, wait, I’m not who you think I am.”
Then in the fourth, he’s like – “Oh my God, the cook is gone and she’s got all these orders. If somebody doesn’t cook that up people are going to get upset! They’ll take it out on this poor woman who’s been on her feet all day and doesn’t deserve their wrath! And…oh my God…PEOPLE WILL BE HUNGRY!”
Then in the sixth gif he’s like – “NOT ON KRONK’S WATCH!”
He’s doing the right thing and he knows it. No judgement, no condescension, just always a moment to register the task at hand, determine the most logical course of action to completing it, and then it’s GO GO GO.
His only problem is that he never stops to ask himself whether this is actually his problem to solve, or whether people are taking advantage of him, and I love him for it.
TIL that a cat once co-authored a physics paper. In 1975, a physicist had just finished writing a paper and was ready to publish but realized that he had used ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ throughout, despite being the sole author. Not wanting to edit the paper, he listed his cat, Chester, as a co-author.
Ok but the best part is, physicists loved the joke. When people called the author’s university and he wasn’t available, they’d ask to speak with the co-author instead. The author issued a limited number of copies of the article signed by both authors. (Chester’s was obviously a pawprint.) And to this day, physics papers will often have F.D.C Willard (Felix Domesticus, Chester Williard [Willard was the author’s father’s name]) mentioned in the footnotes thanking his “useful contributions to the discussion”.
me: i’m gonna fix my sleep schedule, eat healthier, drink more water, actually leave my apartment once in a while to do interesting stuff, maybe even go to the gym!!!!
“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”
You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.
Listen here, wannabes: My boi Clark is 240 lbs of PURE KANSAS BEEF trained from a young age by Ma Kent to Love and Respect women as the Intelligent, Independent beings they are. He is shy rambling about tractors and casually moving the copy machine when my pen falls behind it and he would NEVER demand I be sexually or romantically interested just because he’s nice.
Y’all ain’t Clark Kent.
I have never hit the reblog button so damn fast.
“barely a Guy Gardner” is the sickest comics related burn I’ve heard to date.
Letting your children on the internet before they’re at least ten years old is bad parenting tbh, and even after you do let them online you should monitor what they’re doing. I understand “we live in a digital world now” but that doesn’t mean you should throw your children into it from the moment of birth.
I taught 4th grade this past year, and 10-year-olds have access to so much more than I did at their age. My students watched Rick and Morty, Orange is the New Black, It, and other R-rated and inappropriate shows and movies. They played GTA, COD, and other intense, violent, rated M games.
This exposure to adult media impacted how they spoke and interacted with each other. They had difficulty forming healthy friendships. Disagreements escalated quickly and several times I had to stop students from getting in fistfights.
Heck, the year before I taught 1st grade and a 7-YEAR-OLD male student made sexual threats against a female classmate.
So here’s how to keep your kid safe in a “Digital Age”:
PARENTAL CONTROLS. If your child is going to use a computer, whitelist the sites they can use. Make sure the passcode you use to set these restrictions is not easily guessed (don’t use birthdays or other info your kid knows) because kids WILL try to get around restrictions.
MONITOR. Don’t let your kid on the internet for long periods of time without checking in on what they’re doing. Don’t let them use the internet in their room with the door closed. I say this as someone who did get away with stuff I shouldn’t have been doing on the internet when I was about 10-12, because my parents let me sit in the computer room with the door closed and unfettered access all day long. Even the most innocent, well-behaved kid can get into stuff they shouldn’t VERY easily.
COMMUNICATE. Talk to your kids about internet safety and potential risks of internet usage. Talk to them about the sites they’re using and the videos they’re watching. Focus the conversation on keeping them safe so they know they can come to you if they ever feel unsafe or uncomfortable on the internet.
SET THE EXAMPLE. Limit your own internet usage and increase time spent as a family playing games, eating meals without devices, and talking. Kids will follow what they see. If you’re glued to your phone/laptop all day, they’ll want to be as well.
POSITIVE RESOURCES: Find kid-friendly and educational websites to help your kid have positive experiences on the internet. Some examples:
Kiddle.co is a kid-friendly search engine, great for completing research projects for school.
Abcya.com has a lot of fun educational games aligned with common core standards.
Code.org has programs for kids to learn coding and make their own games.
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