Just had a thought for an action hero thing: 30-something woman hero is doing her ass-kicking thing. One day, her boss shows up at her door, and tells her she has to stand down, or there will be consequences. “Honey, it’s not that you’re too old. It’s just the public don’t like to see a woman of your age saving the day. It feels emasculating”.
So woman is stripped of her support team, fellow agents, and is pretty much put on the shelf. She tries to do heroing, but keeps getting cockblocked by younger women or superhero men she used to work alongside.
Just when she’s hitting rock bottom (and sitting in her house wearing pyjamas and eating ice cream), there’s a knock at the door. Judi Dench is standing there, and our heroine assumes it’s a charity collection.
“Oh no, dear,” Dench says, smiling. “We’ve come to recruit you.”
“Recruit me? For what?”
“To do what we do best: save the bloody world.”
And all at once she’s part of a covert ops team made of all the older women who have been retired and who currently are holding the reins of managing the world.
Of course, a few older women heroes and vigilantes don’t take the offer. Some are too embittered by the rejection they’ve faced and decide to show the world exactly why they’re still to be feared.
Enter Judi Dench’s arch-nemesis, Dame Helen Mirren.
And may I nominate Stephanie Beatriz, aged 37, for the recruit.
What about these women? Maggie Smith – 83 Viola Davis – 52 Julie Andrews – 82 Octavia Spencer – 46 Taraji P. Henson – 47 Susan Sarandon – 71 Julia Roberts – 50 Diane Keaton – 72 Jane Fonda – 80 Lily Tomlin – 78 Sofia Loren – 83 Glenn Close – 71 Michelle Pfeiffer – 60
Anjelica Huston – 66
Stockard Channing – 74 Mary McCormack – 49 Mary McDonnell – 66 Betty White – 96 Meryl Streep – 68 Tamala Jones – 43 Penny Johnson – 57 Susan Sullivan – 75 Christine Adams – 43
Tichina Arnold – 48 Goldie Hawn – 72 (and many, many others)
And possible recruits? Janelle Monáe – 32
Kearran Giovanni – 36
Zoe Saldana – 39
Make Kristine Sutherland and Susan Sarandon twins!
Look at this lad. Image: THX, Ltd.The Deep Note, the distinctive synthesized crescendo that is THX’s audio trademark, is one of the most iconic sounds in all of film. For the effects firm’s 35th anniversary, they’ve now shared the sheet music behind the sound.
Woke: No one understands Thor’s antique, spicy asgardian memes
This of course brings up the question of what exactly asgardian memes would be, any ideas lads?
Imma just go ahead and say the tragedy of Loki of asgard is a huge meme at this point
heimdall watches you fap
[pointing at any group of 3 anythings] the warriors three
along the same lines pointing at any green animal “loki??”
if you’re straight you can’t cross the bifrost
if an uncomfortable conversation occurs you suddenly have to go home and [yourname]sleep for a hundred years
loki’s terrible overcomplicated plans
heimdall commits treason every single day and nobody has ever even thought of trying to stop him
odin’s vault is full of things that should not be kept together/anything lost (e. g. “where’s my other sock??” “odins vault probably”)
gET HELP MY BROTHER HE’S DYING (loki flies through the air)
probably the asgardian version of yeet tbh
“Carl this bag’s too heavy wtf is in th-” “YOU’RE JUST NOT WORTHY”
“Day 2737384 without sex: I’m ready to ride a horse. But like, the way Loki did.”
Breaking something any time someone says the word “another”. Like, any context at all
“there’s got to be another w-” *glass shatters off screen* “JEREMY I SWEAR TO FUCK-”
The 5edgy4u types would absolutely joke about Loki yeeting himself off the bifrost so like
*minor inconvenience* “TO THE BIFROST!”
*test goes bad* “TO THE BIFROST!”
*has to do the dishes* “TO THE- (well you get the point)
Giving each other Absolutely Ridiculous titles. (Read: “Bronn, god of that weird itch in your ear that doesn’t go away until you stick something in it”)
*violent thunder* “lmao Mood”
#Odin’sBeardChallenge where everyone tries to grow a majestic ass beard so that eventually they can scream “MY BEARD!” instead of “Odin’s beard” and if it’s Valid someone will say it back
dungeons and dragons always has great stuff. there’s a jug that you can use to create 2 gallons of mayonnaise at will, like it’s actually written in the dungeon masters guide can you believe that
things my party and i have received in the course of our campaign:
a rock of gravity detection. you hold it out and release it. if it falls, gravity is working.
a wand of magic missiles…and polymorph. i can hit anything i shoot at, but i’ll also turn into a random creature. i’ve been an alligator, an octopus, and a tiny demon so far.
a cloak of tongues. sounds like you’d learn random languages, yeah? NOPE, THINK AGAIN SUCKER. you get to taste anything for like 30 yards around. our halfling informed us we all taste gross.
2 different rings of invisibility–one makes me invisible, but only to myself. the other makes me marginally stealthier, but also makes me absolutely convinced that i’m completely invisible.
the thespian mask of duality. two personalities become mortal enemies within the wearer. the effect is permanent.
and finally, the shield of protection. when you use it in combat, it will use your body to shield itself from harm.
rip tumblr 