augustdementhe:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

unseenphil:

prokopetz:

Every time somebody refers to vampires as “draculas” I picture, like, a vampire suburb, and the Draculas are that one family that’s conspicuously wealthier than all the other families that everybody low-key hates. They roll up at a neighbourhood social and folks are like “oh, fuck, it’s the Draculas, okay, gotta play nice HEEEEEY VLAD!”

(The Draculas are, of course, embroiled in a long-running passive aggressive feud with the Wolfmans down the block. Naturally neither family would ever openly acknowledge it, but everyone knows.)

I realize the tags say werewolves, but it’s funnier to me if the Wolfmans are also vampires but because they’re sensitive about their name they’re really conspicuous about being vampiric, which is probably the source of the feud because conspicuous vampirism is the Draculas’ whole -deal-.

Maybe the Wolfmans are vampires who turn into wolves while every other family in the neighborhood turns into bats, and they’re really touchy about getting called werewolves behind their backs – which of course everybody does, because suburban vampires are just awful.

@bellyrubhungrywishingwell replied:

I mean, Dracula originally turned into a wolf just as much as a bat,
before pop culture shifted the public’s mental association closer to
bats.

That could also be a point of feud too.

The Draculas have a complicated relationship with the fact that their patriarch could transform into both a bat and a wolf. The neighborhood has quietly agreed to just avoid bringing it up in their presence.

So of course the Wolfmans bring it up constantly. Not, you know, as a topic for discussion or anything – it’s just downright uncanny how often that little fact seems to come up in passing!

The Wolfmans’ daughter is coming up on her Bat Mitzvah, and the jokes about it are gonna get someone FUCKING MAULED.