knuckle:

knuckle:

i understand that white ppl feel anxiety about messing up around poc… you should because that’s what it means to start holding yourself accountable. i’m not saying it should rule your life. if it does, that’s something for you to reflect on and solve, not the poc around you

i don’t think (many) white people will ever understand the anxiety that we feel when we start being a little less stringently polite when talking about racism, when we name actions that maybe white people close to us know they’ve done. we live with this fear inside us that we’re being to aggressive, that if we even name our abuse, we ourselves, are doing something wrong, that the people in our lives will turn on us for demanding respect

this is why woc talking about such sensitive topics are not a teaching moment for white people. it’s something you can’t simply understand with your own bubbling anxiety and desire to be a good person clouding your judgment. it’s not the time or place to teach or talk, when woc reflect on the specific trauma that comes from leftist spaces, from the white women who position themselves as our allies but fail to do the necessary self reflection that allows them to treat us with respect and dignity

if you see a post detailing trauma & abuse from you, not the individual, but the group you are nevertheless a part of (white people, white women), sometimes the only action you can take is nothing visible. your input, your “help,” your “uplifting,” your whatever, is not needed, and only derails the conversation. conversations about healing, catharsis, shared experiences for woc; they’re not supposed to be a warning to white people. they’re for us. we shouldn’t have to be thinking about, catering to, worrying about you in these conversations. 

i’m not saying you must avert your eyes and never read these things. only read them.

read & reflect & think about how you can become a better person rather than what you can do to make sure you appear a better person. sometimes the only absolution for what you’ve done will come in the will to change yourself

i know that not everyone clicks on the source, and i talk way too much in the tags, but the ww reblogging this really need to consider my tags:

#also this is ok for white ppl to reblog but pls don’t put a fuckening “im white tag” or “we need to stop” or whatever on it

i don’t want to think about the fact that you’ve been doing this before and want to remind yourself how easy it is to treat us badly (wtf). the entire point is you need to do more silent contemplation. it’s distressing for a number of reasons i can’t fully name and shouldn’t have to, but mostly i don’t want to worry whether my posts are enabling you to think you can keep separating yourselves from other white people. don’t treat us as scions of knowledge living on a mountaintop rather than real women who are just tired and want some fucking peace