that post was right i wouldn’t have a sense of humor without spongebob. its still some of the goddamn funniest shit i’ve ever seen. spongebob almost dying because he’s too polite to ask for a glass of water at sandy’s house. mr. krabs and spongebob killing the health inspector. smittywerbenjagermenjensen. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. every morning I break my legs. and every afternoon I break my arms.” the perfume department on the flying dutchman’s boat. that time spongebob cleared his mind to be a fine dining waiter and forgot his own name because that’s how customer service just BE. the ugly barnacle that was so ugly everyone DIED. the END. the one where squidward buys a pie but it’s actually a bomb. and the MUSICAL numbers like??? the fun song. the christmas song. tony award winning song “this grill is not a grill”. the entire band geeks episode like…this is all from the top of my head!!!!! just from the top of my head!!! there’s so much more!!! thank god for stephen and all the laughs i’ve had because of him.
i ran a super smash brothers club in high school and we literally had to shut it down for this reason. like the class that used the room after us was complaining that the room was unusable
As a fairly non-religious jew I don’t think I ever appreciated how badass the story of passover was until I considered how it would look to your average egyptian dude living through it
Imagine growing up all your life being waited on by a race of slaves who despite living in squalor cling to the belief that they were the chosen of this omnipotent elder god. You laugh this up, pray to Horus and then go about your day
Then one day, a slave with a robe and staff barges into the palace claiming to be the hand of an elder god and demands liberation. You grab the popcorn and try to get a front row seat while the two highest level clerics in the entire kingdom demolish the guy, then watch in shock as he summons a giant cobra and kills them both in one go.
Then, Over the next 10 days you watch this warlock proceed to flood your rivers with blood, summon hordes of wild vermin, drop a pestilence on your people and livestock.
All the while your king goes off and says “we don’t negotiate with terrorists”
Its at this point that the hand of a dark and ancient god has had enough, and with a wave of his scepter like a conductors baton, he calls down the fucking reckoning. As meteors stream from the sky, the warlock yells out his incantation. It’s not an ancient tongue, or poem of dread. Just four simple words: “let my people go”. With one more breath he raises his staff, and with the screaming of a million angels he puts out the sun
At this point I should point out that with each plague this sorcerer has turned the domain of one of your gods against you, starting with Sobek: god of the Nile and working his way up until it appears he has struck down Horus: the god of gods.
Your gods are dead, and the only one still alive is your pharaoh: the representative of the gods on earth
Now, with extreme prejudice, this sorcerer summons a fucking angel of death, and one by one it slaughters the heir of every family until your own king, a firstborn himself pleads for mercy and gives in.
As the freed slaves retreat, your king grins and unleashes a sneak attack, pinning the sorcerer and his people between an army and the sea. Finally this sorcerer, who the whispers say was a fallen prince, raises his staff in mock surrender, and when he brings it down the fucking ocean shatters. Leaving a jagged crack for his people to escape
– Dumbledore contacts Lupin before Harry attends Hogwarts and has him learn sign language and hires him as an interpreter for Harry during classes
– Snape: “are you listening to me potter?”
Harry, speaking to the best of his ability: “to be fair I can’t listen to anyone, however I was, in fact, paying attention”
-Hermione tirelessly helping Harry with speech and pronunciation so he can get spells right
-Ron aggressively trying to learn sign language to communicate with Harry and he’s so embarrassed he can’t get the hang of it at first but Harry thinks it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him because what are friends??
-Draco, mouthing: “I hate you”
Harry, misreading hate as date: “If you wanted a date you should have said something sooner.”
-Harry signing rude things at Umbridge.
Umbridge: “What did he say!?”
Lupin: “he said you’re charming.”
-The entire Weasley family learning basic sign language for whenever Harry is with them, making him feel more at home since the Dursley’s never made a decent effort with it.
– McGonagall aware of Harry’s condition from observation at the Dursley’s prepared and learned sign language and signs when she can during her class, allowing Lupin the occasional break.
McGonagall: “You’re not sneaky Mr. Weasley; I very well know what you just signed.”
“The patient: this 3-day-old little boy was born with torn upper and lower wings. Let’s see how we can help!”
Today the Department of Awesomely Good Deeds salutes costume designer and master embroiderer Romy McCloskey who used her fine skills with delicate materials to help a monarch butterfly she’d raised and who’d emerged from his cocoon with damaged right wings.
“The operating room and supplies: towel, wire hanger, contact cement, toothpick, cotton swab, scissors, tweezers, talc powder, extra butterfly wing”
“Securing the butterfly and cutting the damaged parts away. Don’t worry it doesn’t hurt them. It’s like cutting hair or trimming fingernails”
“Ta-da! With a little patience and a steady hand, I fit the new wings to my little guy”
“The black lines do not match completely and it is missing the black dot (male marking) on the lower right wing, but with luck, he will fly”
“FLIGHT DAY! After a day of rest and filling his belly with homemade nectar, it is time to see if he will fly”
“With a quick lap around the yard and a little rest on a bush, he was off! A successful surgery and outcome! Bye, little buddy! Good luck”
just a reminder of my favorite thing on tumblr and its existance
New killer reveal
I want one,
these are room guardians!! also known as the star of that one fuckin meme that went around a while ago aka this
they were (are?) made originally by anyaboz on dA! they also make a lot of other fantastic stuff I mean I am in love with fuckin everything they do their work is stunning
rip tumblr 