aethersea:

himchankimchije:

rinneavicula:

captainarwenpond221b:

anexperimentallife:

frowningfoxbones:

agentquinn:

sepulchritude:

my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*

*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL’EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”

“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or ‘dogs’.”

imagine the aliens really purchasing a kitten for one of their rough and world-weary scifi badass human companions and watching in helpless wonderment what ensues 

“she’s been cuddling that small animal for the past fifteen minutes just going ‘kitty, kitty’. did we – did we break our human?”

a more seasoned alien puts one of their tentacles around the younger one as the rest of the team gathers to watch their human make kissy noises. 

“no, kilrak,” the alien says. “we did good.” 

“Human-Steve! I have heard that today is the anniversary of your hatching! According to my human culture pamphlet, it is customary to set a sugary pastry on fire while chanting your species’ growth incantation and presenting sacrifices wrapped in shiny paper. I am afraid to ask, in case this ritual is sacred and this request therefor insensitive… but may I be allowed to participate? It sounds much more fascinating than molting.”

“Human Steve, I have read about your ritual dance called ‘The Hokey Pokey,’ performed mostly at mate-bonding celebrations after the guests reach an elevated level of intoxication. But Human Steve, how do I know WHICH left foot to put in, put out, and shake all about? I do not… Human Steve, why are you laughing?”

“Human-Steve, you are… you are eating, but it is not one of your ritual fueling times. Are you dying? Is everything alright? Have you not been receiving enough sustenance? Do I need to get you better things to eat? Human-Steve, why are you trying to hide that food?”

“Human-Steve, my research has informed me of a grave oversight in your care that I, as your companion, have made! Thus, I have gathered collections of fictional human literature to read aloud at the time of your bed. Which is more to your liking: “The Care and Keeping of Cacti” or “1001 Crossword Puzzles?” Human-Steve? Human-Steve, I am serious.“

One of the things I love the most about this post is how “Human-Steve” makes me think that there is also an alien called Steve in the squad, and I just imagine the first meeting and introduction where there is the human guy introducing himself as Steve and then there is this huge blue guy with like 5 legs and bug eyes and apparently Steve is like a completely regular name on his planet too in some intergalactical coincidence

that was off topic sorry.

that was the best possible tangent, thank you for this addition

why-animals-do-the-thing:

taysanimaladventures:

why-animals-do-the-thing:

sdzoo:

It’s Friday! Let’s see those pearly whites. 😄😆  📷: Shelley Weiss

While this post is tagged as “funny animals”, it’s important to point out that these are not happy animals. These are Geladas, and those faces are very serious threat display. 

While most people think that seeing a monkey’s teeth means they are smiling, it’s actually a signal that someone is about to get fucked up unless they quit whatever they’re doing right now. Geladas take this to a whole other level, flipping their entire upper lip back and sometimes pulling on their scalps to exaggerate the pale markings around the eyes. Here’s a great composite image by Steve Mackay of the progression of what a threat display looks like in the species.

Did you catch that I called them monkeys? Despite being commonly known as ‘gelada baboons’, they’re actually a species of old world monkey from Ethiopia. They’re also known as ‘bleeding-heart monkeys’ because of the patch of bright red skin on their chests, which on females will brighten and blister when they’re in estrus (this is thought to be somewhat analogous to the swollen buttocks of cycling female baboons).

If you can see primate teeth – especially the canines – stop whatever you are doing, because that is an animal telling you that it is not happy and willing to defend itself. 

@why-animals-do-the-thing I’m more inclined to believe you because this was my first thought. On facebook it seems like some have pointed it out but this was a response:

“Found out from their keeper that this is actually friendly. If it was unfriendly/aggressive, they’d be flashing their eyelids as well.”

Is that possible for them to smile in a “friendly” way? It seems to me the eyelids are flashing too. Kind of seems full of shit but i was interested in what you thought about that.

In any other species of money, no! In Geladas… turns out yes! Thank you for mentioning this, because it encouraged me to reach out to an SDZ zookeeper for full context. Geladas actually do have a social / greeting lip-flip that is very unique to the species, and hard for someone unfamiliar with them to discern from a threat behavior. Here’s another version of the graphic I used that the keeper sent me:

So the male on the right of the composite photo is doing a threat display, but the male in the stand-alone photo is giving a greeting display. The difference really is in how much that pale patch around the eyes is visible. The original image is taken at such an angle that it makes the eye-patches look more visible than they normally would be. The keeper I spoke to confirmed the photo is two sub-adult males and was taken as they greeted the approach of an adult male.

This is a great example of how much context and knowledge of specific situations can really matter. I put a bunch of research into my original post, and I still got it wrong – the studies I found equated any sort of visible gum tissue in gelada to an antagonistic signal. Even with a pretty solid knowledge of primate behavior and thorough investigation, it took talking to the specific animals’ caretaker to be correct. I have deleted my original response so only this updated reblog is visible – if you shared the original, please also share this update to help get the correct information out!

soycrates:

soycrates:

Gentrification creates a stifling homogeneity in urban areas that makes it less suited for the everyday lives of the lower class and more suited towards the leisure and tourism of those with expendable income.

An old, decrepit laundromat gets replaced by an upscale bakery? And people are mad? It’s not that the poor hate organic vegan cupcakes, it’s that most of us don’t have a way to do laundry in our own home.

Run-down corner stores replaced by hand-made designer clothing boutiques? We don’t hate your eco-fabric shawl, but I can’t eat that for dinner after work like I could have a can of beans I grabbed from that corner store when I don’t have time to take the bus to the real grocery store after work.

What gentrification brings in and of itself is not typically bad, it’s that gentrification brings institutions of leisure and pleasure and makes it so that the poor have to go farther out of their way for basic necessities. It turns low-income living spaces into local tourist attractions. It can even create food deserts by putting restaurants, grocery stores, etc. in that the majority of the lower class cannot afford.

Imagine if someone totally renovated your house and turned it into a mini theme park – they took away your sleeping space, where you prepare food, where you clean yourself and get ready for your day, and replaced it with things that will please people who are visiting, who have their own homes they can go back to, who are here not for their entire life but just as a distraction from their otherwise mundane existence. It’s not that you hate theme parks, it’s not like you’ve never been to a theme park and vow to never visit one again. It’s just that you need to live! To survive! And the leisure of those who have more than you should not invalidate your existence.

I am glad this has made the rounds. Some people feel a dense misunderstanding or misinterpretation concerning gentrification, and I think it helps to hear a description/explanation of what gentrification is from those who are both affected by it and educated by the culture from which it hails. I and many others enjoy some of the delights of gentrification while simultaneously having their livelihoods threatened by it. 

reylosanctuary:

moofmilk:

clarawebbwillcutoffyourhead:

goldenheartedrose:

frogsaremyfriends:

cubhelios:

icouldhavebeenabutcher:

gamzeemakarasober:

potterlovermore:

THIS IS THE TIGHTEST SHIT IVE EVER SEEN

okay you had me at Kylo

Oscar Isaac’s HARMONIZING THO

THIS IS THE BESTT THING OKAY

Always beautiful.

Lupita. *swoons*

I was gonna be like what does Harrison Ford not like joy

Unwritten rule of Star Wars fandom: always reblog this post

Instant happiness

amarilloo:

rgfellows:

rgfellows:

kanyewestboro:

calanoida:

Susanna and the Elders, Restored (Left)

Susanna and the Elders, Restored with X-ray (Right)

Kathleen Gilje, 1998

wow

Oooh my gosh this is rad. This is so rad.

For those who don’t know about this painting, the artist was the Baroque artist Artemisia Gentileschi.

Gentileschi was a female painter in a time when it was very largely unheard of for a woman to be an artist. She managed to get the opportunity for training and eventual employment because her father, Orazio, was already a well established master painter who was very adamant that she get artistic training. He apparently saw a high degree of skill in some artwork she did as a hobby in childhood. He was very supportive of her and encouraged her to resist the “traditional attitude and psychological submission to brainwashing and the jealousy of her obvious talents.”  

Gentileschi became extremely well known in her time for painting female figures from the Bible and their suffering. For example, the one seen above depicts the story from the Book of Daniel. Susanna is bathing in her garden when two elders began to spy on her in the nude. As she finishes they stop her and tell her that they will tell everyone that they saw her have an affair with a young man (she’s married so this is an offense punishable by death) unless she has sex with them. She refuses, they tell their tale, and she is going to be put to death when the protagonist of the book (Daniel) stops them.

So that painting above? That was her first major painting. She was SEVENTEEN-YEARS-OLD. For context, here is a painting of the same story by Alessandro Allori made just four years earlier in 1606: 

image

Wowwwww. That does not look like a woman being threatened with a choice between death or rape. So imagine 17 year old Artemisia trying to approach painting the scene of a woman being assaulted. And she paints what is seen in the x-ray above. A woman in horrifying, grotesque anguish with what appears to be a knife poised in her clenched hand. Damn that shit is real. Who wants to guess that she was advised by, perhaps her father or others, to tone it down. Women can’t look that grotesque. Sexual assault can’t be depicted as that horrifying. And women definitely can’t be seen as having the potential to fight back. Certainly not in artwork. Women need to be soft. They need to wilt from their captors but still look pretty and be a damsel in distress. So she changed it. 

What’s interesting to note is that she eventually painted and stuck with some of her own, less traditional depictions of women. However, that is more interesting with some context.  

(Warning for reference to rape, torture, and images of paintings which show violence and blood.)

So, Gentileschi’s story continues in the very next year, 1611, when her father hires Agostino Tassi, an artist, to privately tutor her. It was in this time when Tassi raped her. He then proceeded to promise that he would marry her. He pointed out that if it got out that she had lost her virginity to a man she wasn’t going to marry then it would ruin her. Using this, he emotionally manipulated her into continuing a sexual relationship with him. However, he then proceeded to marry someone else. Horrified at this turn of events she went to her father. Orazio was having none of this shit and took Tassi to court. At that time, rape wasn’t technically an offense to warrant a trial, but the fact that he had taken her virginity (and therefore technically “damaged Orazio’s property”. ugh.) meant that the trial went along. It lasted for 7 months. During this time, to prove the truth of her words, Artemisia was given invasive gynecological examinations and was even questioned while being subjected to torture via thumb screws. It was also discovered during the trial that Tassi was planning to kill his current wife, have an affair with her sister, and steal a number of Orazio’s paintings. Tassi was found guilty and was given a prison sentence of…. ONE. YEAR……. Which he never even served because the verdict was annulled.

During this time and a bit after (1611-1612), Artemisia painted her most famous work of Judith Slaying Holofernes. This bible story involved Holofernes, an Assyrian general, leading troops to invade and destroy Bethulia, the home of Judith. Judith decides to deal with this issue by coming to him, flirting with him to get his guard down, and then plying him with food and lots of wine. When he passed out, Judith and her handmaiden took his sword and cut his head off. Issue averted. The subject was a very popular one for art at the time. Here is a version of the scene painted in 1598-99 by Carivaggio, whom was a great stylistic influence on Artemisia:

image

This depiction is a pretty good example of how this scene was typically depicted. Artists usually went out of their way to show Judith committing the act (or having committed it) while trying to detach her from the actual violence of it. In this way, they could avoid her losing the morality of her character and also avoid showing a woman committing such aggression. So here we see a young, rather delicate looking Judith in a pure white dress. She is daintily holding down this massive man and looks rather disgusted and upset at having to do this. Now, here is Artemisia’s:

image

Damn. Thats a whole different scene. Here Holofernes looks less like he’s simply surprised by the goings ons and more like a man choking on his own blood and struggling fruitlessly against his captors. The blood here is less of a bright red than in Carrivaggio’s but is somehow more sickening. It feels more real, and gushes in a much less stylized way than Carrivaggio’s. Not to mention, Judith here is far from removed from the violence. She is putting her physical weight into this act. Her hands (much stronger looking than most depictions of women’s hands in early artwork) are working hard. Her face, as well, is completely different. She doesn’t look upset, necessarily, but more determined. 

It’s also worth note that the handmaiden is now involved in the action. It’s worth note because, during her rape trial, Artemisia stated that she had cried for help during the initial rape. Specifically she had called for Tassi’s female tenant in the building, Tuzia. Tuzia not only ignored her cries for help, but she also denied the whole happening. Tuzia had been a friend of Artemisia’s and in fact was one of her only female friends. Artemisia felt extremely betrayed, but rather than turning her against her own gender, this event instilled in her the deep importance of female relationships and solidarity among women. This can be seen in some of her artwork, and I believe in the one above, as well, with the inclusion of the handmaiden in the act.

So, I just added a million words worth of information dump on a post when no one asked me, but there we go. I could talk for ages about Artemisia as a person and her depictions of women (even beyond what I wrote above. Don’t get me started on her depictions of female nudes in comparison to how male artists painted nude women at the time.) 

To sum up: Artemisia Gentileschi is rad as hell. This x-ray is also rad as hell and makes her even radder.

I love art history.

I’m reblogging this again to add something that I also think is important to know about Artemisia Gentileschi.
Back in her time and through even to TODAY, there are people who argue that her artworks were greatly aided by her father…. As in he either helped her paint them or just straight up painted them himself. Hell, there are a number of works only recently (past several years or so) that have been officially attributed to Artemisia because people originally saw the signature with “Gentileschi” in it and automatically attributed it to Orazio.
So, not only was Artemisia Gentileschi an amazing artist and amazing historical figure, but I don’t want it to be ignored that there are people over 400 years later who still won’t give her the credit she deserves, just because she’s a woman and obviously women can’t paint like she did.

I fucking love Artemisia Gentileschi

I made some ASMR ambient atmosphere mixes for your highly specific needs

runnerfivestillalive:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

1.) Haunted campout in a northern forest where strange beasts lurk in the distance and whispers of the unquiet dead keep you awake through the long dark night 
2.) The Joker is probably getting ready to murder you horribly in an abandoned warehouse
3.) Killer Croc hunts you through the Gotham sewers, occasionally eating corpses 
4.) Man has pleasant vanilla sex with a monster in cheap motel bed
5.) You’re the last gunslinger marching across a dreary wasteland after the world has moved on, pursuing the man in black across the desert while the machines of the old world still hum their death throes

6.) woman flees across frozen tundra from evil mechanical whales from another dimension
7.) frightend young boy is chased through forest by the Wild Hunt and their eldritch hounds

8.) Baba Yaga has kidnapped you and prepares to cannibalize you as part of a hearty and well-balanced meal 
9.) Drinking a stolen soda at the bottom of the Mariana Trench and burping from the highly-pressurized gas
10.) mute woman has quiet sexy encounter with an amphibious monster in an aquarium
11.) 

n00b necromancer digs up bones from a church graveyard for the first time, crying with guild and anxiety as angry spirits murmur in anger at her trespassing

12.) Hiding scared and alone in the dark as the fabric of reality is unwoven by interdimensional forces beyond our understanding, and the world as we know it comes to a dark and brutal end
13.) Amateur cryptid-hunter hikes alone through woods on a breezy summer’s day, searching for evidence of the paranormal and oblivious to danger
14.) lesbian lumberjack chops down tree in the early morning while thinking dreamily about her new wife

I’m seriously impressed by how much story and emotion these hold.