story time: presidential edition

adventures-in-theatre:

  • so you know how everyone has a story
  • you know
  • like the story
  • like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story
  • and you know exactly what they mean
  • the story
  • well 
  • i have a story
  • and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:
  • barack obama
  • pre-2008 reebok sneakers 
  • and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life 
  • so here we go
  • it all began eight years ago
  • (i was a gangly child then) 
  • and barack obama came to town
  • (when i was a young girl)
  • (my father took me out into the city)
  • (to see the president of the united states, obama) 
  • (barack obama)
  • except it wasn’t the city but where my parents worked 
  • and my mother was hired to take pictures of obama shaking the hands of others
  • (rich people)
  • (ceo’s) 
  • (people who didn’t wear reeboks to meet the president)
  • so i skipped school to see obama
  • (naturally) 
  • (but my teacher was a republican so it still counted as an absence) 
  • and the adventure begun
  • but as i soon learned
  • most of the adventure was waiting in a large room with my mother and some secret service men for roughly eight hours 
  • because there is no timing with obama
  • (barack obama)
  • no one can know when obama is supposed to be there
  • (barack obama)
  • there is no, like, obama warning system
  • (barack)
  • it’s just that one second he’s not there
  • and the next second
  • he’s there
  • (barack obama)
  • so it was eight hours
  • and i remember nothing from those eight hours except for when one of the secret service men tried to talk to me
  • ‘how are your studies,’ he said
  • how’s school, he probably meant
  • but i didn’t understand at the time
  • i was a gangly child
  • i was scared
  • he was tall
  • (i cried)
  • and then all of a sudden
  • (about eight hours into the eight hours)
  • he was there
  • (barack obama)
  • he was beauty 
  • he was grace
  • he was
  • (barack obama)
  • he walked into the room
  • he wasn’t wearing reeboks 
  • (i noticed)
  • (i began to feel i’d made a mistake)
  • my mother took pictures of him shaking the hands of others
  • (rich people)
  • (ceo’s)
  • (none of whom were wearing reeboks) 
  • and at the very end
  • obama began to leave 
  • (barack obama)
  • i was happy enough to have graced his presence
  • but my parents
  • my parents were not happy
  • they needed more
  • ‘mr. obama,’ they called
  • and they pointed to me
  • ‘of course,’ obama said
  • (barack obama)
  • he’s so nice, i thought
  • and then it hit me
  • oh no, i thought
  • oh yes, my parents thought at some point, probably
  • i’m obama, obama thought, most likely
  • i was going to meet obama
  • up close and personal
  • obama
  • (barack obama)
  • the rest was a blur
  • and the next thing i knew i was there
  • with obama
  • (barack obama)
  • his hand was shaking my hand
  • his hand was on my hand
  • (nothing had ever felt so right)
  • ‘so what’s you’re name,’ he asked 
  • (with obama’s voice)
  • (because he was obama)
  • (barack obama)
  • and i almost forgot but i told him
  • and he said it correctly even though it’s weird 
  • (obama said my name)
  • and we were off to a good start
  • how was i to know
  • how was i to know the horrors to come
  • ‘so how old are you,’ he asked then
  • and that’s when this dream became a nightmare
  • ‘twelve,’ i said
  • a seemingly innocent answer
  • but here’s the thing
  • i was 
  • thirteen. 
  • (thirteen)
  • (13)
  • (12+1)
  • (16-3)
  • (13.0)
  • (Thirteen.) 
  • what have i done, i thought
  • (panic! at the election)
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3LGopSVju4
  • i still don’t know why i did it
  • did i really forget? 
  • did i do it for the thrill of the chase?
  • to see if i could?
  • maybe
  • but obama didn’t know
  • i did it, i thought, i lied
  • i lied to the president of the united states
  • i pulled it off
  • the greatest lie in history
  • the greatest heist
  • (i didn’t know what a heist was)
  • (i was thirteen)
  • ‘oh so you’re in 6th grade then,’ obama said
  • shit.
  • i was so close
  • shit what do i say, i thought
  • the journey is not over
  • the nightmare rages on
  • what do i say
  • i open my mouth to say, yes
  • ‘no,’ i say
  • what the fuck, i think 
  • ‘no i’m in 7th grade” 
  • (because i was)
  • maybe he won’t know, i thought
  • but he did.
  • (obama’s been around the block)
  • (obama knows what’s up)
  • ‘so you’re ahead of your class, then’ he said
  • (i wasn’t)
  • (i failed basic math at least twice by this time)
  • ‘yes,’ i said, just wanting this nightmare to be over
  • just wanting the lie to end
  • for obama to call me out on my shit and arrest me
  • to spend the rest of my youth locked away in prison where i couldn’t hurt anyone any more with my lies
  • i waited
  • i waited for arrest
  • but arrest didn’t come
  • and that was even worse.
  • obama trusted me
  • obama thought i was a good kid
  • obama thought i was ahead of my class 
  • (ahead of my class) 
  • i let him down
  • i let obama down
  • (barack obama)
  • i watched him leave
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYNH1baA_7k
  • obama, i mouthed out after him
  • obama i’m sorry
  • (he trusted me)
  • why did i do it, you ask
  • i don’t know
  • after all these years
  • i still don’t know
  • it still haunts me
  • i still wake up at night, shaking, and i think
  • i lied to the president of the united states
  • (twice)
  • the photographic evidence of my nightmare hangs in my father’s office
  • i’m smiling through my pain
  • i’m wearing reeboks
  • obama is not
  • (barack obama)
  • i hope that someday, after obama’s retirement 
  • we can put this all behind us and start anew 
  • start fresh
  • (no more lies)
  • (no more deceit)
  • but i’m not naive
  • i know that we can never really go back
  • back to the way things were
  • five seconds after i met him but five seconds before i lied
  • but i can dream
  • i can hope
  • obama
  • obama i’m sorry
  • (barack obama)

shogikappa:

systematicslytherin:

kialessa:

[Video ID: A businessman is demonstrating cracking open a large nut by slamming his fist into it. The nut, having other ideas, breaks through the table instead upon being slammed, leaving a nut-sized hole. The businessman loses it.]

@kialessa I’m fucking losing it at this description fkdkdksks

is that table made of paper like the Titanic is

scotchtapeofficial:

some ppl who grew up with siblings didnt rly Grow Up With Siblings. like if you and your brother are 10 yrs apart u just dont get it… if you had siblings within 3yrs of your age you had the genuine experience of primitive undeveloped human brains pummeling the shit out of each other because none of us have developed frontal cortices and the laws of man don’t apply in the confines of this house

ashipwithoutaname:

shoresoftheshadowlands:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

so uhhhhhh i know this is a plant blog but realtalk lads im a little freaked out by that wild ass new organ discovered in our bodies according to a paper published literally yesterday am i right my lads, my bois, lmao hhaha

(as of 3/28/2019, paper was published in the reputable international research journal “Nature” on 3/27/2018, publication here, study was started in 2013) ok so like uhhh this is my rough translation of the paper they published using my current level of biological knowledge, if anyone else has a more in depth understanding with human anatomy things and would like to add on with anything i might have missed feel free to add but this is my takeaway: 

-scientists were looking at some stuff in the inside of a bile duct they were studying in a live patient (this will be important later) using a laser that lets them see the cells in real time. they injected some stuff into the duct and saw the spaces inbetween the cells fill up with fluid in strange, tube-like structures that didn’t correspond with what they expected to be there, so they sectioned and froze them to study them closer; they realized that upon closer inspection, the fluid-filled places were VERY small collagen tubes forming a complex matrix of bundles surrounded by a weird cell covering that seemed to connect them to one another. they called this the Interstitium. 

-they sectioned some more places where squeezy things might happen, like the inner linings of the bladder, lungs, lymph nodes, and the soft tissue enclosing our muscles, filled them with the same indicator, and hyper froze them like they did to the first sample and found the same weird matrix of fluid-filled tubing:

image

they concluded from what they found from this that: 

1. our previous thought of the space inbetween the cells in these parts of the body, which we thought were just kinda like, there or whatever doing nothing (a series of spaces that were already called the Interstitium that were largely ignored), are actually full of complex tubing running through a ton of very important parts of your body

2. when the structures they’re chilling around (like your bladder and bowel) contract, the fluid moves around all weird

3. the reason this wasn’t discovered before is because when the tubes are squished too hard- like when scientists are cutting into them- they have a tendency to collapse really easily, especially when being treated with chemicals for microscope use, giving the impression of the kind of tissues that we’ve traditionally seen in specimens and thought of being in these sensitive areas (closely compact and dense cell mats). it turns out that in living people, these tubes run between the cells carrying fluid; the scientists were able to see this initially in live patients using the above mentioned laser technology, and then took live biopsies by quickly freezing the cells in place before removal to prevent their collapse.

4. yes, these can move cancer cells around, which is HUGE seeing as they seem to enclose a LOT of important and delicate muscles in our bodies in one giant, complex system. when they looked at it in cancer patients, the tumors they found seemed to kind of be….leaking….into them…..because the tumors were putting pressure on the fluid tubes….which easily collapse…..and move things that fall into the fluid around….

5. the scientists also explored things like hernias and colon damage in relation to these, but unfortunately this is where my translation powers run out as non-plant-related terminology starts being used lmao im so sorry im like this

tl;dr: the membranes that surround some really important parts of squishy things like our stomach, bowels, colon, lungs, muscles, etc are full of very delicate and complex tubing that runs in a weirdly complex system to other important squishy things throughout our bodies and looks like a weird organ that we didn’t know was there before (or like, we knew about it, we just didn’t know it was so…connected and uh…organy). also it seems to have an impact on the spread of cancer throughout these regions

here’s the paper again if you want to have a read and see pics of the tubing itself and draw more in depth conclusions from it lmao 

This summary was great!! I have some more fun translations for y’all:

-the interstitium isn’t so much an organ as a tissue type and it’s p much everywhere you have squishy bits that gotta move

-some cancers can use it to spread (metastasize) to other areas. For example if a dudes got skin cancer but only of the epidermis(v top layer of skin) it’s a p small chance it’ll spread BUT if it gets into the dermis (next layer, where they see this tissue) there’s a much higher chance it’ll spread

-these fluid filled areas could possibly act as one more shock absorbing layer (adipose, or fat, also does this)

-probably also gives organs that move (heart, lungs, stomach, intestines, etc) room to move a bit

-is probably important to a concept called third spacing where fluid collects in your tissues (esp. your legs cuz gravity) bc for some reason your heart isn’t pumping well enough to suck it back up or your kidneys aren’t taking out enough fluid etc etc

-swelling in general is probably super important w/ this

-there are weird flat cells that we don’t really know what they are or what they do yet but we’ve got hypotheses: could be a type of stem cell, could be a type of fibroblast (cell that makes collagen/elastin/etc), could be important to scar formation if so (and a type of scar called keloid scar looks like this tissue but exaggerated)

-may have some big implications for cell to cell communications and inflammatory conditions like IBS/IBD, pancreatitis etc

-we may be able to use this fluid as a diagnostic tool once more research is done

-shows how the specific technology and techniques they used are v v important and how we need WAY more research done in this area

-also cells in the tissue may or may not interact w/ the collagen and that may or may not be important later