i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second
anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk
and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something
paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.
i say, paul.
is that a nerf gun.
yeah, says paul.
i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.
he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?
and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–
a foam dart hits me in the leg.
i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.
i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.
no dart this time. okay. sweet.
so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it
anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.
The “I won’t hesitate, bitch” vine but @ friends who don’t love themselves
look . if you wanna paint or write or sing or take photographs or play an instrument just DO IT. it might be hard in the beginning, it might not turn out as perfect as you imagined, but you know what, not even a professional artist thinks that way. and heck, you created something. you brought something to life. if that isn’t the best thing in the world i really dk what is
So let’s say you’re in the same boat I am (this is a running theme, have you noticed?) and you’ve just got, like, SO MUCH STUFF that HAS to get done YESTERDAY or you will DIE (or fail/get fired/mope). Everything needs to be done yesterday, you’re sick, and for whatever reason you are focusing on the least important stuff first. What to do!
Take a deep breath, because this is a boot camp in prioritization.
Make a 3 by 4 grid. Make it pretty big. The line above your top row goes like this: Due YESTERDAY – due TOMORROW – due LATER. Along the side, write: Takes 5 min – Takes 30 min – Takes hours – Takes DAYS.
Divide ALL your tasks into one of these squares, based on how much work you still have to do. A thank you note for a present you received two weeks ago? That takes 5 minutes and was due YESTERDAY. Put it in that square. A five page paper that’s due tomorrow? That takes an hour/hours, place it appropriately. Tomorrow’s speech you just need to rehearse? Half an hour, due TOMORROW. Do the same for ALL of your tasks
Your priority goes like this:
5 minutes due YESTERDAY
5 minutes due TOMORROW
Half-hour due YESTERDAY
Half-hour due TOMORROW
Hours due YESTERDAY
Hours due TOMORROW
5 minutes due LATER
Half-hour due LATER
Hours due LATER
DAYS due YESTERDAY
DAYS due TOMORROW
DAYS due LATER
At this point you just go down the list in each section. If something feels especially urgent, for whatever reason – a certain professor is hounding you, you’re especially worried about that speech, whatever – you can bump that up to the top of the entire list. However, going through the list like this is what I find most efficient.
Some people do like to save the 5 minute tasks for kind of a break between longer-running tasks. If that’s what you want to try, go for it! You’re the one studying here.
So that’s how to prioritize. Now, how to actually do shit? That’s where the 20/10 method comes in. It’s simple: do stuff like a stuff-doing FIEND for 20 minutes, then take a ten minute break and do whatever you want. Repeat ad infinitum. It’s how I’ve gotten through my to do list, concussed and everything.
You’ve got this. Get a drink and start – we can do our stuff together!
WOAH THIS SOUNDS HELPFUL. I’M GOING TO TRY THIS IMMEDIATELY. Also, I made a chart for myself, but if anyone else wants it for reference (or if this is wrong and I misread you can tell me) here it is:
Fun fact as you go through college all the people majoring in any kind of math or engineering gradually forget how to do basic fucking arithmetic because their brain is full of the parts of math that you can’t do on a calculator in less than a second. Eventually if they’re cut off from their tech they pretty much have to ask an art major how long division works.
That’s actually something that psychology has confirmed before. The brain retains things better when they can’t be easily looked up.
sometimes I wish the word ‘pain’ could show up as a sort of tattoo on my skin where the pain is the worst. So everyone could see how many places were intensely hurting and I wouldn’t even have to say it
okay this seemed like a good idea at the time but now I’m just thinking about how much of my body would have to be covered in tattoos on bad days and it is bumming me out
Maybe instead of the word pain you could program it to something you wanted for the day. Like maybe one day your covered in flowers that stand out greatly, and the next day is an intricate pattern in a colour so subtle you have to know to look for it. Magical tattoos that let you control how visable you want your pain to be and how you want them to be visable. Cause really the control over our bodies is a big deal. It’s no good if it informs the world without your consent and control.
this is beautiful and now I really wish it was possible
rip tumblr 