Phone scammers…

defilerwyrm:

othersidhe:

defilerwyrm:

Ya boi just took some asshole for a ride. Some schmuck called me from a (spoofed) DC number with some cockamamie story about how he’s with the Federal Government and they’ve randomly selected me to receive a $7000 grant, oh and I’ll have to go pick it up at any of several chain grocery stores. Keeps using these “check-in” phrases that are meant to prompt you to say yes.

But see, joke’s on him: I’ve heard of this scam, and I don’t talk like most people. When I answer the phone and someone asks for me by name, I say “Speaking,” not “Yes.” So every single time this assclown tried to get me to say “Yes” I’d say something like “Understood” or “Go on.”

You see, the scam is, they trick you into saying “Yes,” and bonus if they can get you to repeat numbers (esp. 0-9) and/or “I agree.” What these low-lives do is record your voice and then use the sound bytes to make fraudulent charges in your name.

So fuck this guy right off the bat.

The more I dicked him around, the more frequently he started trying to goad me into saying the y-word. The funniest part came when he was going to “give me a confirmation number.”

Him: The confirmation is seven, one, three…

And he just STOPS. The “three” was pitched up to indicate there’d be more. I wait. He waits. I say, “Go on.”

And this bitch goes, “Yes, the confirmation number is seven, one, three…”

And he STOPS AGAIN. I wait. He waits. I say, “Go on,” again.

And he STARTS! OVER! AGAIN! He did this TWO MORE TIMES before giving me the “full confirmation number” and a “number to call,” which together JUST HAPPEN to include all ten digits, 0 through 9.

This entire time I haven’t said a single word that could be construed as agreement. So he asks me to repeat the numbers back to him. I decide I’ve had enough at that point. I tell him to get a better job, hang up, and block the number.

Another “DC” number immediately calls me. I reject & block it.

And then I filed a report with the Federal Trade Commission. :3

BE WARY. Get yourself on the National Do Not Call Registry. If a number you don’t recognize calls you, DON’T REPLY “YES” OR ANY OTHER GENERIC AFFIRMATIVE TO ANYTHING THEY SAY OR ASK.

The original scam is a robocall that starts off with “Can you hear me?” The most correct response is to hang up and report it to the FTC. The second best is “I can hear you,” if you’re not sure or if you forget. But get into the habit of using responses other than “Yes” on the phone. These fuckers are everywhere.

It gets worse, OP. Your voice can be spliced to sound like you agreed to something. You may have given them enough to do that with. Like those Microsoft Windows people that call and want your ‘important numbers off your computer’ I talked to them for far too long and only found out after the fact that they could make fraudulent charges just by splicing some of your words together. They were after something different, but it amounts to the same thing in the end. Also there’s the common ‘press 1′ people as well. It’s best to just hang up. The Attorney General says to get an answering machine and they can’t really do anything about them because they’re constantly spoofing numbers. Neither can the phone company, and they Charge You Money for reporting them!

Oof. Reblogging for additional warnings. I’ve already made my report to the FTC, so I’ll just be keeping a close eye on my finances for a while. (Like I’m not already given my situation.)

anderz-zombieslayer:

zorkat:

underhuntressmoon:

ancestormoth:

tempuraat:

monicalknighton:

ayellowbirds:

the face of a bird who fully understands what he did and will do it again.

WHAT DID HE ORDER???

OMFG HE ORDERED A WHOLE BUNCH OF STRAWBERRIES

https://youtu.be/IvnW89osj0g

berries.

berries.

berries.

@zaiqukaj Harpies tho

Lady: “Alexa, read my shopping list.”

Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list. Here are the five most recent. 
Poetry, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries.”

*Lady laughs*   

Alexa: “Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing* “Who ordered this strawberries? (yes please?)”

Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list, Here are the five most recent. *cuts*  – the next five items?

Lady: “Yes please”

Alexa: “Strawberry yogurt, easy water, jeans, Harry, big tofu. Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing high pitched* yes!

Alexa: “Big, big, red retreat, milk, berry. Do you want to hear the last four items?”

Lady: “Please yes” *wheezy laughter*

Alexa: “Apple, berry, berry, berries”

*Lady burst into laughter* “Ohh hoo”

Big Tofu

cannibalcoalition:

cannibalcoalition:

Me, teaching the floral class:

“So this flower is called solidago, but we’ve also called it golden aster, goldenrod, and wild mustard- so you could call it just about anything. You could call it ‘Bob’ and be okay.”

Class laughs. 

“So you’re gonna take Bob here and cut him-”

inkhat

I read this while working on a flower shop au how dare you

You’re welcome- now you have authentic dialogue for your fiction. 

zooophagous:

I used to mock the fact that so many tv shows and movies use people who are like 29 to play highschool students but you know what if it keeps fewer kids on set where some grody ass fucking pedo director could put their hands on them I’m all for highschool specials with crows feet and five o’clock shadow because honestly like 3 people total in Hollywood can be trusted and they’re on thin fuckin ice

marauders4evr:

I still say the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter was that there wasn’t a scene where Hermione found 16 year old Harry in a shopping cart on top of the Astronomy Tower while 16 year old Ron stood by with Colin’s camera because if the prophecy says that he has to die via Voldemort then that means nothing else can kill him ergo there’s no way this could possibly go wrong…