Protip for men: if marriage is a horrifying concept for you and you think it is an evil trap, do not buy a ring and ask a woman to marry you
I’m way over seeing radical feminist bullshit on my dash. This isn’t even social justice or a real issue.
sorry that not marrying someone you dont loathe is radical feminism i guess?
women: don’t propose or get married if u don’t like the thought of marriage
men: what kind of sjw fuckery
the other bit that this implies is:
If you like your wife, act like it. Even around your friends. Be open and honest about liking your wife, liking spending time with her, and not being resentful of the shared work of building a household. Let your buddies know you can’t hang out with them because you’d rather be home with your wife, whom you like, because she is your legit bff, even though you know your buddies are gonna mock you for it.
Stand up to your buddies. Tell them mocking isn’t cool and you don’t want them to do it anymore. Challenge the other men in your life to be better men.
That is what “don’t get married if you think marriage is an evil trap” implies to men who are married. And while it’s all completely reasonable I imagine that it’s scary as fuck when it’s just so much easier to har de har har the little woman’s such a nag, ain’t she, don’t we all hate being married so much? with other men.
In that context, “don’t get married if you think marriage is an evil trap” is kindof a radical statement.
The number of guys I work with who are engaged who started pulling the “uh oh, life over soon, har har” shit that I have completely shut down with a simple “well if you don’t want to get married, then don’t”…*sigh* And they’re just like, hem, haw, welllll if I don’t then she might not stay with meee, which I respond to with “well, sounds like you need to have a pretty serious and honest conversation with your fiancee about your feelings then” and then the *panic!* look…When you remove that easy “hah hah ball-and-chain” narrative, watch the reaction. Some of them (to a female friend) will mumblingly admit that they love their fiancee and are excited to be married. Others…all you get is fear.
That’s the disservice we do men by refusing to teach boys how to explore their emotional needs. It hurts everyone. I watched three male friends walk into marriages I can tell they weren’t ready for and didn’t want, just because it was expected and they had no tools for emotional self-examination. Two of those marriages are (shockingly) in crisis, a couple years later. One has kids involved now. It’s more than a little heartbreaking. The marriages I see that are working? Are the guys with the emotional maturity to talk to their wives and who don’t care if everyone knows they’re in love with them.
SERIOUSLY.
My friend is getting married this summer and when I congratulated her fiance on their engagement he said to me “Yeah well you know, women. This is what they want so you have to bite the bullet.” and my other friend’s husband who was sitting next to him laughed and agreed. If this is how you feel, don’t get married. Don’t propose. Just…. Don’t. Do it. Any of it.
Straight people think that doing things you really don’t want to do – like marriage and having kids – is normal cos they’re still stuck in a fucking 19th century mindset.
It’s why I know my best friend got a good one, he’s open about how much he loves her and he’s excited to be getting married and regularly contributes ideas and has his own input, it’s nice to see
It filters through as well. Even being gay, a lot of my straight friends don’t understand why I spend so much time with my husband. Because I love him? Because I enjoy his company? Because he’s my best friend? I can’t count the amount of straight people that have told me that they think it’s “weird” that my husband and I spend so much quality time together. The only person who understood was my mom, whose response was: “If you love someone and genuinely enjoy their company, why WOULDN’T you want to spend your free time with them?!”
How can anyone look at their impending marriage and think ‘oh no, it’s all over now’ like???? I’ve only felt so close to so many people in my life, but those small few were like?? I’d wake up in the morning excited to be awake just to look forward to SEEING them. I’d catch myself with this stupid idiot grin in broad daylight just THINKING ABOUT BEING AROUND THEM. I’d sleep easy with them in my head, shitty days became perfect once I spoke to them. THAT’s how I imagine feeling again someday. I think about feeling that way for someone again and it’s like the whole future opens up. Marriage is finding your best friend in the whole wide world and wanting to have a sleepover every single day, and to agree to it and then go around groaning like your freedom is being stolen is a HUGE disrespect. If you have the freedom to share your life with anyone you like and you throw it around like baggage you really can’t expect it to grow, can you? You gotta care about yourself a little more than that I think
All of this.
Not to mention this mentality makes it’s way TO THE DAY OF THE WEDDING. How many weddings have we seen with something like this:
Like what kind of toxic mentality do you have to have to say this as the bride is about to walk down the aisle and marry someone who it’s now suggested doesn’t even want to be there?? How is this cute? How is this supposedly charming? This is supposed to be the person you love and want to be with! And not to mention that you send this down the aisle with a small child (the ring bearer or the flower girls)…I have a special loathing for things like this.
Holy shit I didn’t know that was even a thing.
This reminds me of a study I read about years ago with statistics on happiness/stability in relationships of people of various genders/orientations, and straight people were at the very bottom. (And lesbians were at the top! Not a huge surprise, given that women are generally more inclined to communicate and work out emotions and issues.)
Reblogging for the “last chance to run” comment. Honestly it’s so fucking gross.
And think about the people who marriage actually is an evil trap for, like child brides, or like people who can’t leave an abusive marriage because they’ll struggle financially.
“One of your cashiers has a huge zit on her cheek. It was gross looking and I lost my appetite. She should have popped it before she came in this morning.”
“The cashier over there was counting money. As a joke, my ten-year-old started shouting random numbers. The cashier made an angry face and now my son is upset. He has no right to get angry at a little kid who doesn’t know any better.”
“Cashiers shouldn’t be drinking water bottles while on the clock. What if they put vodka in there?”
“One of your employees has way too many tattoos and does her makeup way too dark. I don’t like her funky colored hair either. It’s trashy and unprofessional. I won’t be shopping here anymore.”
“If the pregnant girl wanted to have relations out of wedlock, that’s up to her, but she should be wearing a fake wedding band while she’s working. I don’t want my children to think that premarital sex is okay.”
“Some of your cigarettes are marked as ”$1 off". You shouldn’t sell them. They condone smoking.“
“I was told I couldn’t bring my 15-year-old son into the liquor section. It wasn’t like I was buying booze for him!”
“The cashier farted silently while she was ringing me up. It smelled horrible.”
“You shouldn’t allow people to bring their service dogs in the store. I don’t like dogs. They make me uncomfortable.”
“You really shouldn’t let your employees go home in the middle of a rush.”
“I let my son eat a banana while I was shopping. I told the cashier. She said that bananas go by weight and she can’t ring them up without the actual product. She told me it was fine and just to remember for the next time, but I know she didn’t mean it so I felt obligated to run all the way back to the produce department and grab another one so that she could charge me.”
“There are way too many foreigners working here. You should be more concerned about making sure Americans are employed.”
“You should build a separate bathroom for employees.”
“I pulled into a handicap spot. One of your cart pushers told me I had to move. I may not be handicapped but I have had a very long day and I don’t have the energy to walk across the entire parking lot.”
“Not hiring my son because of his age is discrimination. I got him his working papers on his 14th birthday last week. That should be enough.”
“Cashiers shouldn’t let customers bag their own purchases under any circumstances.”
Wow people are awful
the only way to read these is in a white suburban mom voice
People who don’t want to read The Martian in case the science is too complicated should be informed that it contains the lines “The best way to store the ingredients of water is to make them be water”, “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft”, and “If I cut a hole in the wall of the hab, the air won’t stay inside any more”.
I love this fucking book
“I’ve said the words kilowatt-hours-per-sol so many times they’ve lost all meaning so I’m going to call them pirate-ninjas.
“So I need to generate nine hundred pirate-ninjas…”
there’s an entire chapter dedicated to him wondering how the cubs are doing while he’s stuck on mars, dying
I like the part where the guys on Earth are like “He thinks we all gave up on him, and that he’s completely alone. I wonder what he’s thinking about right now.”
And he’s like “How come Aquaman can control whales?”
Mark Watney is such a great example of how to teach to laymen. Andy Weir wrote a book about a man who basically gives the reader a 369 page science lesson and it’s literally never boring or too complicated or patronising. He uses language that is accessible to the reader, removes technical jargon, adds in humour and all without belittling the reader or making them feel stupid for being given the simplified explanation.
So I’ve seen the post he’s talking about around tumblr and twitter, but haven’t seen this on tumblr. I think it’s worth sharing.
(Also remember: do *not* pet service dogs!)
Tldr: service dogs would not leave their owner’s side if they were having a seizure to fetch someone. They would stay with them. The post circulating around Tumblr is wrong and is spreading misinformation about service dogs.
“Keeping the internet open is critical for us. It powers social movements, and provides a global platform for people of color, LGBTQ folks and the most marginalized communities to tell their own stories, run their own businesses and route around powerful gatekeepers.”—Candace Clement, Free Press Action Fund Campaign Director via @fight4future
Starting today, June 11, U.S. internet providers will be legally allowed to censor and block websites and apps, and force you to pay extra fees to to access your favorite places online. Your internet sanctuaries, the communities you are part of, the ones you have help build up, could be decimated.
Will it happen today? No. Next week? Probably not. The changes will not be swift. They will come piece by piece. A slow, tempered death to the free and open internet we love.
It doesn’t have to be this way. You can still make a difference, Tumblr. We need the House of Representatives to sign a discharge petition in support of the Congressional Review Act that would force a vote on the floor.
It’s so easy. Just go to BattleForTheNet.com, fill out the form, and follow their directions from there.
They have an updated widget for you to throw on your websites to urge others to make a difference. You can put it on your Tumblr. Let your followers know what you stand for, encourage them to do the same. It’s so easy to do. Just copy and paste their small line of code right into the customize theme page on the web.
Go, go, go, go. We know you have that passion in you. We’re fighting right alongside you.
