“in this essay i will explore” memes piss me off because it implies y’all still using first person pronouns when writing academically. childish ass
In this essay, this writer will explore the implications of pretending that one’s own personal view is not part of one’s essay, and the inaccessibility of academia related to established custom of artificial detachment.
In this essay, I will demonstrate that the blanket ban on first-person pronouns in high-school and some university English classes is poorly understood and hastily adopted as a result. I will further illustrate that it is a mere substitute for explaining to inexperienced writers that excessive use of phrases like “I think” or “I believe” is unnecessary and rhetorically weakens academic writing, and that opinions expressed in an essay are already assumed to be those of the author. Finally, I will address strategies for effectively conveying that information to students, who often find it difficult to grasp.
In this essay, passive voice will be used throughout in order to distance the work done from any researchers, or, in reality, kind of imply all experiments were done by magical lab gremlins and the results were simply recorded.
in this essay, enlightenment will descend upon you without the agency of any living being. you will know things, yet know not how you know.
Artsy depression: haunted eyes, good at art, emo hair and eyeliner on point
Actual Depression: bloodshot eyes, no longer trust themselves with pencils, has not showered in five days
Quirky OCD: organized books, clean room, color coordinated outfits
Actual OCD: Intrusive thoughts, flipping the light switch 8 times so you don’t stab your brother, picking holes in your skin
Cute eating disorders: Slim trim and beautiful, shyly refusing a second helping, dancer aesthetic
Actual eating disorders: Puffy cheeks and eroded teeth from excessive vomiting, hair growing over your freezing body and refusing to eat carrots because they’re too high in carbs
Adorable anxiety: just a smol bean, soft, must be protected from the world
Actual anxiety: crying so hard you throw up, shaking, losing sleep over a period after the “okay”
RPG PTSD: flashbacks, vietnam, u don’t know what i’ve been through kiddo
Actual PTSD: Buying your first pregnancy test at twelve, flinching at high fives, i can’t feel my hands where am I what year is it
Cartoon ADHD: look a squirrel, something shiny, fidgety loveable bufoon
Actual ADHD: rereading the same page over and over because it doesn’t make sense, hasn’t done the laundry in four months, hyperfocusing on a mushroom knowing you have work to do
stop making terrifying realities seem cute. it’s disrespectful for those of us who are actually struggling
do u ever get a message or a comment that like isn’t OVERTLY sexual but it’s in the subtext and even though it seems completely innocent your kink alarm bell rings something like
“you’re so cute! would love to see a photo of you in some red sneakers!”
why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had ur back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary.
this story makes me so sad bc it’s so dangerous to be this young black and have to walk alone.
i mean
I’m glad she asked the right person.
#protectourbabies
Bruh, kids and animals have sixth sense when comes to knowing who will give a shit about them.
That’s real. I got my cat because he was a stray who just walked up to me and took a chance.
Let’s not bash the parents y’all don’t know the circumstances. When I was in kindergarten I had to walk myself to & from school. I had a key on a lanyard. My parents were WORKING we had no one else to depend on so we had to depend on ourselves.
No body bashed them. We were just acknowledging the fact that kids have to do things alone some times for that very reason you just named. Just glad that there are decent people in the work to watch them cuz it takes a village.
Nobody said anything about the parents, shorty just wanted to tell her story
If a guy ever spreads a rumor that he slept with you, don’t deny it. One, because there will always be people who think it’s true, and two, because that dumbass boy just handed you the power to say anything you want about what he’s like in bed, and people will believe it. Say he bleats like a sheep when he orgasms. Say he put on pearl earrings and asked you to call him Daisy. Say he couldn’t get it up until he watched an old Billy Mays infomercial. The power is yours.
