kaijutegu:

Sweat is the worst. There’s things out there to make sweat season better, though. Without further ado, my “sweat sucks” checklist, in no particular order! All product names are links- mostly Amazon- but you can get many of these items in a lot of places.

0, the ur-anti-sweat task force item. A good anti-perspirant of your choice. If you’re sweaty and you hate it, you probably already know which one you like best.

1. Gold Bond powder spray. The powder itself is ok, but the spray is where it’s at. If you hate underboob sweat, this is the way to go. Start dry- don’t do this right after a shower, and towel off if you’ve already been sweating. Before putting on a bra or binding, lift one boob, spray underneath, and hold that boob up for a bit to let the spray dry. There’s other things that work for this, too- Fresh Balls, Monkey Butt, etc.- and I have tried all of them and this is the one I keep reaching for. Also, Fresh Balls and Monkey Butt are terrible names.

Just don’t use it on any mucus membranes. If you’ve got a sweaty groin area, be careful with it.

2. Slipshorts. Recently I stopped hating myself and wearing pants in the summer. It’s just too humid out. But a combo of chub rub and sweat means that I feel super uncomfortable if I’m not wearing something– which is where a nice pair of undershorts/bike shorts come in handy. Get cotton ones or wicking ones, and they help combat the sweat and the chafing. Jockey’s Skimmies are really good for this- the ones that wick away moisture. This is not shapewear, mind you- that would only make the sweat problem worse! 

3. A fan. I’ve got a really goofy electric one that mists me with water, but it looks really, really goofy. It might look silly, but it let me survive my family’s ill-planned hike up Diamond Head in the middle of the day. That was worth looking silly. When I’m super hot and gross, I don’t care- but it’s not convenient everywhere, or you might have more dignity than me. (Most people probably do, really.) In that case, a folding fan is extremely useful. Pick one that you like- if you carry purses, maybe even get a few cheap ones and toss one in each purse.  

4. Another kind of goofy thing that really does work is the Cooldanna, which is a bandanna that’s been sewn into a head band and stuffed with water crystals. You soak it in water, tie it around your head, and it keeps you cool for a very long time. If you were clever, you could make your own with some water polymer crystals and whatever fabric you liked- and this way you’d have more control over design and size and everything. You could even get creative about shape and placement!

5. Around April, I stop wearing closed shoes unless I absolutely have to- sandals all the way for me. I’m a Birkenstocks person, but honestly, any supportive sandal’s good. I’ve had the same pair of Milanos for well over a decade now, and they don’t stink and my feet feel pretty damn good in them.

6. A Ta-Ta Towel. It’s not fun to wear a bra all the time, but it’s equally unfun to be sitting at home and dealing with underboob sweat. You can get these other places, or make your own even, or if your boobs are shaped right, just stick a washcloth beneath them and call it a day- but nothing dries quite like a towel. 

7. Bun formers. Getting the hair off the back of the neck is vital, and a bun works pretty much anywhere.

8. Cucumber wipes and a towel. Sometimes if I have to walk or take the bus somewhere in the summer, I’ll actually take face-washing stuff with me in my bag so that I can de-sweat when I get there. If not, cucumber wipes and a small towel work fine. 

Sweaty friends: save a life. If you’ve got more things you like to use, please add to the list.