OBGYN: Yeah, you are exhibiting all the signs of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I’m so sorry.
Me: Huh? Oh, yeah. Insulin resistance, impossible weight loss, pre-disposition to type II diabetes, painful AF periods. Likelihood of bleed outs. Crap. That blows.
OBGYN: Yeah, well that too.
Me: *blinks* What?
OBGYN: Well, PCOS makes it very difficult for a woman to conceive and carry.
Me: BWHAHAHAHA. Yeah. No. No babies. Ever. Never wanted them. At all. Maternal instinct is not strong with this one. Only upside today.
OBGYN: Well then. Not exactly problem solved, but we’ll run with it.
Me: So about the MIND-SEARING PAIN and occasional HEAVY AF BLEEDING. When can we deal with that.
OBGYN: Not until you are 35.
Me: Dah fuq?
OBGYN: Not my rules. Hospitalization won’t even consider any treatment unless it’s life or death until you’re 35.
Me: Why?
OBGYN: Because you might want to have a baby.
Me: I’m 31. I didn’t want kids when I was 11, I didn’t want them at 21, and I sure as shit don’t want them now. Can’t I just sign a form that says “I don’t ever want a baby take it out, take it out now”?
OBGYN: Nope.
Me: Why?
OBGYN: Government rules. No removal of baby making parts before 35 unless your life is in immediate jeopardy.
TL;DR: The government knows better about your baby making parts than you do.
This is just evil. They are literally refusing to treat a potentially life-threatening condition, not just without the patient’s consent but despite the patient’s protest. Evil.
According to the National Women’s Health Network, there’s no legal age restriction- “Technically, any woman of legal age can consent to the procedure, but it should be medically justified. It’s incredibly unlikely that a doctor will perform a hysterectomy on women ages 18-35 unless it is absolutely necessary for their well-being and no other options will suffice.” Of course, this is in the US. Other countries may have different rules.
If you’re in the US and your OBGYN says “government says no,” look for a new one because they lied to you. If your OBGYN says that “hospital says no,” look for a new one because this one doesn’t respect your bodily autonomy. It is true that most surgeons don’t like to perform hysterectomies until you’re in your late 30s at the earliest, but a respectful surgeon will listen to their patient and not just write them off. Sexism in hospitals is alive and well– and it’s not just anecdotal evidence. There’s been a history of looking at it academically/professionally since the 70s (look into Mary Halas as a good place to start if you’re curious), and it crops up all the time in articles in the Journal of Women’s Health and Women’s Health Issues, and the International Journal of Women’s Health all of which are peer-reviewed, well-respected medical journals. It’s absolutely a real thing.
Anyways, I guess what I’m getting at is this: here’s a list of doctors (mostly US-centric) who perform different sterilization surgeries without giving their patients trouble. While even a surgeon on this list might caution anyone under 35 away from a hysterectomy, at the end of the day it’s yourbody and your pain. (And some of the docs here have been known to perform hysterectomies on people in their 20s with no fuss.) While this list won’t be practical for everyone- after all, medical treatment is ridiculously expensive in this country, it might help someone.
Holy shit fam Holy S H I T
SIGN ME THE FUCK UP I’VE BEEN TOLD THIS IS NOT ALLOWED FOR YEARS
Oh god
QUICK REMINDER THAT I HAD A HYSTERECTOMY A FEW DAYS AFTER MY 26TH BIRTHDAY B/C I HAD CANCER AND I DID EXACTLY THIS. I HAD A DOCTOR WHO DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT AND THEN I WENT TO A NEW DOCTOR AND AFTERWARDS SHE MORE OR LESS SAID MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN DANGER HAD I NOT DONE IT.
Sometimes it’s not the doctor, it’s the hospital. For example, my OBGYN worked at a Catholic hospital, so they couldn’t perform any type of sterilization onsite unless it was an emergency situation.
So if your doc feeds you this BS line about not being allowed to, ASK IF IT’S THE HOSPITAL POLICY. If it is, ask if they are able to perform the procedure elsewhere. If they are not, ASK FOR A REFERRAL.
I was 28 years old when my OBGYN explained that he wasn’t allowed to perform a sterilization procedure onsite, and then he proceeded to tell me what a crock of shit it was and referred me to someone else who was able to. And even though I was under 30, his referral listed me as “an ideal candidate” for the procedure.
If they pass off this line and insist when you know otherwise, FIND A NEW DOCTOR.
1. Don’t waste time being fearful: go for that job that you’re certain you’re not gonna get. What’s the worse that can happen? You are rejected, but you gain interview experience. Self-doubt is really a waste of time.
2. Live in the present. Yes, it is important to plan for the future, but it is easy to put off living until it is too late. Make sure that you have no regrets about what you should have done. Do one exciting thing per year.
3. Know your worth. This applies to both work and relationships; never sell yourself short. No job or romance is more important than your self respect. Also, charge for any unique skills/services that you can offer.
4. Don’t be afraid to leave bad situations. I left a stable but draining teaching job in order to protect my mental health. Even though this was a big risk, it was the best decision I ever made. NOTHING is more important than your mental health.
5. Most 20 somethings feel that they are underachieving. This is normal – especially in today’s financial climate. Don’t feel bad if you are still living at home and cannot afford to rent/buy. I’m 30 and still living at home, saving to buy.
6. People will disappoint you, but most of the time, it’s not about you. Everybody has their own demons and traumas that make them behave in certain ways. If somebody disrespects you, assert your boundaries and keep it moving. Also, examine if there was anything you could have done to avoid the situation. But DO NOT let it eat away at you.
7. In love, nobody owes you anything. Even if they made a promise, they are their own person…Everybody has the right to change their mind and to leave a situation which is not beneficial for them. This is hurtful and hard to accept, but it is the truth.
8. Learn to enjoy your own company. Your 20s can be a lonely time as your social sphere narrows, due to employment, finances and exhaustion. Use this time to find out more about yourself and do the things that you enjoy. There is something liberating about eating at a restaurant alone.
9. Be kind, don’t gossip or overshare. I am still working on this one. It is really difficult to be kind and positive in a world full of annoying people. However, your attitude will influence how you are being perceived. If you are unkind, people will laugh at your jokes but they will never trust you. They will never trust you not to treat them as you treat other people. Remove yourself from toxic people, and only share negativity (sadness/anger/depression) with a therapist and one other person that you trust. If you overshare negative feelings, you may be stereotyped as being full of drama. Furthermore, people will want you to stay in a negative place because it’s entertaining and makes them feel better about their own lives. Just don’t do it.
10. You cannot win every battle. Within conflict, it is tempting to try to force others to agree with your perspective. However, most people are set in their ways, and find it difficult to change their views and behaviours. This is especially important when dealing with toxic family members. You may never get the apology and empathy that you seek, so it is important to accept that every battle cannot be won, and gain validation internally, rather than externally.
Back in the late ‘80s, NASA was looking for ways to detoxify the air
in its space stations. So it conducted a study to determine the most
effective plants for filtering the air of toxic agents and converting
carbon dioxide to oxygen. In 1989, their results were published in a
clean air study that provided a definitive list of the plants that are
most effective at cleaning indoor air. The report also suggested having
at least one plant per every hundred square feet of home or office
space.
What’s in our air?
Trichloroethylene – Found in printing inks, paints,
lacquers, varnishes, adhesives, and paint removers. Symptoms associated
with short-term exposure include: excitement, dizziness, headache,
nausea, and vomiting followed by drowsiness and coma.
Formaldehyde – Found in paper bags, waxed papers,
facial tissues, paper towels, plywood paneling, and synthetic fabrics.
Symptoms associated with short-term exposure include: irritation to
nose, mouth and throat, and in severe cases, swelling of the larynx and
lungs.
Benzene – Used to make plastics, resins, lubricants,
detergents, and drugs. Also found in tobacco smoke, glue, and furniture
wax. Symptoms associated with short-term exposure include: irritation
to eyes, drowsiness, dizziness, headache, increase in heart rate,
headaches, confusion and in some cases can result in unconsciousness.
Xylene – Found in rubber, leather, tobacco smoke,
and vehicle exhaust. Symptoms associated with short-term exposure
include: irritation to mouth and throat, dizziness, headache, confusion,
heart problems, liver and kidney damage and coma.
Ammonia – Found in window cleaners, floor waxes,
smelling salts, and fertilizers. Symptoms associated with short-term
exposure include: eye irritation, coughing, sore throat.
So I don’t know about you, but I’m often frustrated by the ridiculous smallness of girls’ pockets. At a bare minimum, I need to be able to shove my cellphone in there – come on, pants companies! So what I started doing was making myself pocket extenders. I’ve done this several times, for pants and shorts. It’s great.
I just got this pair of jeans, so I thought I’d show you how to do it. I kind of feel like it just hasn’t occurred to some of you that this is an option, so maybe now it will. All you need is your pants, some fabric (I just took a random piece from a scrap bin), a needle, and some thread (thread doesn’t even need to match the fabric since literally no one will see it).
See? Ridiculous. Like, half a cellphone, or only 2.5″. Useless.
So turn those inside out to expose the pockets.
Figure out how big you want your pockets to actually be. I kinda go by whatever looks like might be right. I didn’t
really measure them. Fold the fabric in half, so you have a pocket, and
then fold it in half again so you can have two equal ones.
Try to get the edges to line up enough, pin it in place, then sew up the sides! Are your stitches crazy uneven and wonky looking? Doesn’t matter; nobody’s going to see it. These are in the inside of your pants. The only thing that matters is that it holds up. So I double-did the corners, since those tend to get the most stress.
Cut open the bottom of the existing pockets.
Pin it in place, then sew around, joining the new pocket to the old pocket. I did this by keeping my hand on the inside, so I wouldn’t accidentally sew through the other side. Again, I reinforced the corners, and didn’t worry about what it actually looks like. Then I turned it in side out to make sure the inside was all joined properly.
Yay all done! And the pockets are so much bigger now!
Whaaaat I can fit my entire phone and entire hand and probably something else now, are girls’ pockets even allowed to do that?! Heck yeah they are.
Please give me all the advice you have on writing cover letters. Like, the closer you can get to literally just writing a cover letter for me, the better. Ok bye.
This is how I did the one for my librarian position. I hope it helps.
Dear Person Hiring for this Job,
I am writing to ask you to consider me for X position. This is a paragraph about why I want to do X position in general. It includes at least one personal detail and at least one job skill I consider a particular strength. It argues that I am passionate about this career. It is not long.
I have had the opportunity to gain experience in this job by – paragraph about my work or study experience. It should go from most recent experience back. Include some details about your responsibilities/achievements in your most recent or most important positions. If you have mostly study experience, give more detail about what exactly you studied. If you shadowed people, mention that. If your work experience is largely unrelated, try to shoehorn some of it in (e.g. I gained experience working with people by). You can supplement with relevant hobbies. (But if you do have recent, relevant work experience, you should largely be detailing that. Only embroider the other stuff if you need to flesh it out.) This should be the longest paragraph.
I hope you will consider allowing me to do X thing at your company. This is a few sentences about why I want to work at your company in particular and what I think I could bring. Try to mention at least one detail from the company website, so they know you visited it. This is a short paragraph that parallels the first one.
Thank you very much for your time and attention.
Sincerely,
Person You Would Be a Fool Not to At Least Interview
oh my god thank you this is relevant to current interests
Two other points, to challenge what’s being said above a little:
1) Remember that the person reading this cover letter wants to know how you can contribute to the company. Not how excited you are about the position: it’s all about what they gain. Try framing the whole thing in that sense — “You would gain my X awesome skill that would help you Y with your mission.” “Here’s why I’m awesome and a great fit for making your company go better.”
2) At the end, ask for the interview. “I am available at PHONE NUMBER at your convenience. I look forward to speaking with you about this great opportunity soon.” Maybe even say you’ll be following up at a specific time and date. Ask for the job. People respond to that, and it’s a good way to fake confidence until you make it. Ask for the job.
Okay, three points. People reading cover letters get SO BORED going through them. Think about starting off with a story that relates to why you’re interested in the job, or that demonstrates a skill or a strong interest that would make you a good candidate. Be memorable — people remember stories, even (maybe especially) very little ones.
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