I once stayed at a game reserve in South Africa, and they had three cheetahs – two males and one female. The boys stuck together (they were brothers), but female cheetahs are solitary, save for when they are raising cubs. Which is hard work for cheetahs, because they don’t/can’t den, she’s working constantly to protect/move her cubs, as well as feeding both them and herself.
Now, these cheetahs ARE in a private reserve, but they’re still essentially wild. But they are more or less accustomed to the presence of people. And this cheetah, Ketswiri, got very badly injured in her leg one time, which usually would be fatal to a cheetah. The staff at the reserve helped her. Another time, she was starving, and they provided her a fresh antelope carcass. And she remembered this, because the science officer was telling us how one time he was watching Ketswiri and her cubs, and she wandered over and dumped all her cubs at his feet, and walked off. Like “watch my kids, I need some me time.” And he was panicking like COME BACK I CAN’T BABYSIT YOUR KIDS WTF
Half of the comments are about cats giving birth on top of or next to their owners and I’m not crying at all
it’s so funny though because domesticated cats are aggressively social in raising their young so basically op’s cat was like bitchthese are your kids too, where tf you think you’re going???
this is a huge reason why lesbians can go years just not figuring out that they aren’t attracted to men. when your whole understanding of attraction is “objectifying yourself to the point that you understand intimacy as a performance to be the perfect sexual object for a man” then the question of who and what you desire isn’t even being asked- let alone answered.
a few years back, i read “cinderella ate my daughter" by peggy orenstein (which is an interesting sort of crash course on the ways in which gender roles are really impressed on children through media, capitalism, toys, etc.). I read it like 5 years ago so if I get anything wrong, forgive me; I don’t own the book so I can’t consult it.
but one thing that really stuck with me was a part where the author speaks with (I believe) a child psychologist, and they talk about sexuality of teenage girls. one thing the psychologist mentions is that, when talking about sex, sexual attraction, etc, girls will frame it in terms of how they look, rather than how they feel when asked about their feelings (emotional and physical): “I feel like I look sexy, I look hot, etc,”. from the onset of experiencing sexuality, etc (which really means, going back to childhood, because girls are really bombarded by objectification from the time they’re tiny), girls are already alienated from their own bodies and sense of what feels good, right, or okay.
no wonder the process of realizing you’re a lesbian can be so difficult; it’s also no wonder that we have so many women who look back and say it took them years to realize that what happened to them was sexual assault, or who look back and say that they weren’t happy or satisfied in relationships but stayed in them anyway, or that women are so constantly critical of their appearances in everything they do. all of it comes down to the fact that women are so alienated from their own bodies, feelings, and experiences. monitoring how you look constantly really creates such a distance between you and your actual life, it takes you out of the moment, it makes it difficult to judge your actual feelings, or create boundaries, or bond genuinely with others, or have positive experiences free of self-criticism.
You can’t turn flirting into a complicated “game” that makes no sense and then throw a hissy fit when some men get confused.
giving minimal attention isn’t complicated lol
As a guy who has no idea how that “game” works, yes it is. Especially when a lot of girls do the “play hard to get” crap. Men aren’t fucking mind readers. My solution though, is rather simple. I’ll take it all at face value. I don’t play that stupid game. You play hard to get? Sorry, I’m gonna play dumb. You can fuck off or just come clean.
I mean, thankfully it doesn’t matter for me because I met my awesome GF and she cared as little for the “game” as I did. But it still annoys me when people play this game and this bitch when a guy gets the wrong idea. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
guess what! emotional attention isn’t flirting!
Guess what! For some girls it is!
You must be real fun at parties
I’m not bad at parties. The way I deal with this kinda shit is I just assume I’m not being flirted with until they make it obvious. I’m not very interested in playing the game so I essentially ignore any attempts to play it. My bigger problem at parties is that I’m not very good at breaking into conversations.
Stop being mad at men for not understanding you’re stupid game. If you don’t want stupid prizes, stop playing stupid games. I think it’s dumb when men play along with games they are unable to know how to play because they can end up getting it wrong, but don’t blame them for trying to play. If they get pissy at you and insult you and shit when they figure out you weren’t flirting then fine (although if you intentionally lead a guy on for attention then fuck you but that’s a different issue), they were wrong. But don’t blame a guy for getting confused.
Basic emotional attention isn’t flirting. not that hard a concept.
What bothers me about this mindset is:
1. When multiple women say something about women and one man bravely decides He is right.
2. The insistence that women play games as a method of flirting and throw tantrums when men are confused. Because women are these darn, irrational, temperamental enigmas, right, boys?
3. Shaming women who “play hard to get” and saying they end up with stupid prizes. I can’t speak for everyone, but when I was accused of playing hard to get, I was not interested in trying to flirt at all. Maybe us trying to reject a man while still being nice to him is what’s so confusing? I honestly don’t know.
4. The purpose of this post was to show how men feel entitled to the point where they believe any basic emotional attention indicates mutual atttraction. Because the basic courtesy and kindness we are referring to should never be considered a determinant of romantic attraction. And I think women telling men – quite simply – when their behavior is being misinterpreted and men arguing that women are wrong or liars says a lot about the initial entitlement…
Finally! The dress for my cousin’s wedding is all done!
The pattern used is Simplicity Vintage 7841 EU/1155 US. Lots of alterations were necessary to make it look this way. Plus I added hidden pockets to the skirt and a bow belt.
Right now I am considering whether or not I should make some kind of coat or cape to go with it.
You know when you can just tell the artist/writer behind a scene has actually been in love before, and then again when they really haven’t? This one has.
rip tumblr 