classic. unmatched. perfectly iconic. femininity without being flashy and paired with flat-soled boots so she can MOVE. rosy cheeks and red lips but not ones that try too hard. 10/10
BRAID CROWN!! comfortable and flattering–even the heels arent impractically designed but theyre SILVER so u know its a Statement Outfit. 11/10
H A I R . S PA CE J E WE LRY . SUBTLE SHIMMER OF A SOLID GREY ENSEMBLE. sheer perfection, peak general Lewks. 12/10
no human being has a right to pull off a camouflage poncho but here she is doing it!! must be those skywalker genes. 13/10
skipping this one
matching her rouge and lip to the dress but its just effortless. waist SNATCHED and pleated vest works somehow??? the circle braid symbolizes my love for leia: ENDLESS 14/10
100% butch realness out here lookin like ur frontierswoman aunt abt to teach u how to drive stick shift and introduce u to her goats. iquonicc 15/10
classic hair with a Twist for the modren era. professional af and a perfect blue w/ the collar details, OOH BABY 16/10
this is the I Am Giving You Orders outfit and made me gay 17/10
this is the I Am Rescuing You outfit and it made me even gayer when she took the helmet off 18/10
absolute nature dryad fairy royalty surrounded by tiny furry dudes. this is the state of being i hope to transcend to in the afterlife 19/10
so when are men gonna realize that women aren’t complicated and we’re actually just normal people and it’s men that lack emotional depth and interesting personalities?
Yeah….. Except I’m an emotional man with tons of depth. I speak 5 languages and play every instrument known. I can build a house. I can plant a garden. I know a little bit about everything.
Maybe women really are cunts who just seek to destroy men and invalidate them?
i have no idea how to reply to this cause it’s simply just the funniest thing i’ve ever read and nothing will ever top it
I love how none of the things he stated are indicative of emotional depth or an interesting personality
Id like 2 learn how to build a house that would be a neat skill to have
Lyft driver: “Your name, is Slavic? Me too. Bulgarian. I drive fast for you, brother.”
Now he’s waxing philosophical about the Ottoman Empire, imperialism, and human nature. “Humans? We are the most dangerous animal. Other animals, they kill when they need to. We kill when we think we need to. It is not the same.”
He just monologued about climate change and the military industrial complex, and the difficulty of having a Balkan identity when every Balkan country changes hands “every twenty years”. “Our history is getting swallowed by the biggest fish, and that fish getting swallowed by the next biggest fish, and so on.”
He had so many more gems. We compared family names, realized that his daughter shares my grandfather’s name (the feminine version), and then he started talking about The Old Country. The city where he grew up had a population of 300, and the population of his whole country could fit inside Chicago. He came here twenty years ago seeking a better life, but “everything in America is too big, the cars, the problems, the inequality”. He pointed to his phone and called it “stupid little computer” that’s meant to control his life, not to improve it, and how the world is getting steadily worse and the little people can’t do anything about it. He told me to continue my studies so that I don’t grow up to work in the service industry and can instead try to stop the concentration of power into the hands of corrupt people. Then he shrugged and said, “But who knows? Can anyone do it? I don’t know if it’s possible.”
people who complain about dinosaurs “not being scary anymore” because its been discovered they have feathers and are closely related to/ancestors of birds are so bizarre like
its not about how scary they are, they are/were real life animals and what matters is learning more about them, not how well they fit into your science fiction horror film lol
can you imagine a 13 foot chicken running at you with full intent to eat you??? thats fucking terrifying holy shit
peacocks are synonymous with vain, frivolous beauty and they will attack cars. they will attack you while you try to get to your car. they’re like six feet of useless feathers and they will destroy you. imagine if they were carnivorous and had functional spurs.
a t-rex could look like a gay disco ball and i guarantee that you would fucking book it if it had a problem with you
listen
listen
have you ever met a swan
if anything the birdier they get the scarier they are
Australia literally fought a war against giant birds AND FUCKING LOST
“Oh man, I can’t deal with birds ‘cause they’re dinosaurs and sometimes it’s like they get this glint in their eyes and they remember.”
“Have you ever interacted with a goose? ‘Cause those things are dicks.”
If chickens were still the size of a T-Rex we’d all be dead. No question.
Feathered creatures that give some serious lie to the idea that feathered dinosaurs ain’t scary:
This is a bearded vulture, or lammergeier. It’s four feet long and has a nine foot wingspan and it eats bones.
This is a shoebill stork. It dropped the duck without biting down shortly after the picture was taken, but if it had decided not to-
… it could have been the end of the road for that duck.
This is the last thing a fish sees before a macaroni penguin eats it.
This is a secretary bird in the act of demonstrating to Lord Voldemort that he came to the wrong neighborhood, ese.
This is a goose.
This is a vulture.
This is a cassowary on the attack.
Be glad I couldn’t find the actual gif of a pelican swallowing a fish, because it’s freakin’ Lovecraftian in its HEADS SHOULD NOT BEND THAT WAY factor. You’ll have to settle for the idea of a feathered dinosaur suddenly going GLORP and devouring its victims whole just like this lady here.
Steven Spielberg didn’t create these. These are the feet of an emu.
And this is what happens when a swan (this one is named Asboy; his father was Mr. Asbo, the first swan in the UK to get named after an anti-social behavior order in ‘honor’ of his tendency to attack boaters) decides it doesn’t like you. I should probably note that this one attacked a cow.
Respect the feathered dinosaur, yo.
Terrifying. The last two illustrate why you did not fuck around with the Children of Lir.
I suspected that a dinosaur could have been feathered after I heard that a T-Rex is the chickens’ ancestor.
For those who think dinos aren’t cool because they’re feathered…whatever, mutherfuckers. Evolution doesn’t give two shits what you think is cool or not.
You showed a cassowary on the attack, but forgot to show what exactly it’s attacking with. Their feet are nearly identical to the Emu’s, except for one minor, teeny tiny detail: A five-inch claw for killing motherfuckers, raptor-style.
This is like the “fuck birds master post” and I love it because Honestly, Fuck. Birds.
See, this, I think, is what I love about Kronk. On the shallowest surface level, he fills the “low IQ sidekick” role. But ONLY on the shallowest surface level.
I’d have to watch the movie again to go into any detail, but Kronk is actually the smartest damn person IN this movie. There’s nothing he doesn’t know, he’s got all this specialized knowledge, dude is probably horrifically well read. He’s NOT stupid, he’s just eager to please and doesn’t have a proper “No” threshhold.
In the second gif, he’s like – “No, wait, I’m not who you think I am.”
Then in the fourth, he’s like – “Oh my God, the cook is gone and she’s got all these orders. If somebody doesn’t cook that up people are going to get upset! They’ll take it out on this poor woman who’s been on her feet all day and doesn’t deserve their wrath! And…oh my God…PEOPLE WILL BE HUNGRY!”
Then in the sixth gif he’s like – “NOT ON KRONK’S WATCH!”
He’s doing the right thing and he knows it. No judgement, no condescension, just always a moment to register the task at hand, determine the most logical course of action to completing it, and then it’s GO GO GO.
His only problem is that he never stops to ask himself whether this is actually his problem to solve, or whether people are taking advantage of him, and I love him for it.
rip tumblr 