manuscripts-never-burn:

steelplatedhearts:

zoreta:

exeggutor:

We like to think the internet within the past half decade or so has honed shitposting down to a science but racing horse names have us beat by decades

This is a case of necessity is the mother of invention- for both race horses and purebred show animals, every.single.animal. needs to have a unique name for record keeping purposes.

Imagine trying to come up with a cool username if you aren’t allowed to add random numbers and underscores- only pronounceable words. Now imagine that this website has had tens of millions of users, and even after someone leaves the site their username can never be recycled.

WELCOME TO PEDIGREE SHITPOST BINGO

Pedigree Shitpost Bingo would make a great horse name

The best one I ever heard was someone sent in a list of possible names, and then at the bottom of the list, wrote, “This is a damn stupid way to run a business.”

All the possible names were taken. Guess what the horse’s name was registered as?

This Is a Damn Stupid Way to Run a Business

bottombobbysinger:

crazybecat:

aprilslady:

mapplestrudel:

selfrescuingprincesssociety:

writlargefic:

p1ratew3nch:

wombatking:

jazz2midnight:

barefootdramaturg:

squirrelswithmakeup:

amuseoffyre:

Just had a thought for an action hero thing: 30-something woman hero is doing her ass-kicking thing. One day, her boss shows up at her door, and tells her she has to stand down, or there will be consequences. “Honey, it’s not that you’re too old. It’s just the public don’t like to see a woman of your age saving the day. It feels emasculating”.

So woman is stripped of her support team, fellow agents, and is pretty much put on the shelf. She tries to do heroing, but keeps getting cockblocked by younger women or superhero men she used to work alongside.

Just when she’s hitting rock bottom (and sitting in her house wearing pyjamas and eating ice cream), there’s a knock at the door. Judi Dench is standing there, and our heroine assumes it’s a charity collection.

“Oh no, dear,” Dench says, smiling. “We’ve come to recruit you.”

“Recruit me? For what?”

“To do what we do best: save the bloody world.”

And all at once she’s part of a covert ops team made of all the older women who have been retired and who currently are holding the reins of managing the world.

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase

I am here for this plan.

Oh, yes.

Of course, a few older women heroes and vigilantes don’t take the offer. Some are too embittered by the rejection they’ve faced and decide to show the world exactly why they’re still to be feared. 

Enter Judi Dench’s arch-nemesis, Dame Helen Mirren.

I need this like air

Look – here’s your casting call:

  • Sigourney Weaver – 67
  • Pam Grier – 67
  • Lynda Carter – 65
  • Linda Hamilton – 60 
  • Angela Basset – 58 
  • Michele Yeoh – 54
  • Ming-na Wen – 53
  • Famke Janssen – 52 
  • Halle Berry – 50
  • Tia Carrere – 50
  • Carrie-Anne Moss – 49
  • Lucy Lawless – 49
  • Lucy Liu – 48
  • Uma Thurman – 47
  • Angelina Jolie – 41
  • Milla Jovovich  – 41
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar – 40

The Recruit:

  • Jessica Alba – 36
  • Emily Blunt – 34

I need this to happen!

@gwen-cousland

How are we forgetting

-Alex Kingston – 55

Naomi Harris – 41

Renee Elise Goldsberry- 47

And may I nominate Stephanie Beatriz, aged 37, for the recruit.

What about these women?
Maggie Smith – 83
Viola Davis – 52
Julie Andrews – 82
Octavia Spencer – 46
Taraji P. Henson – 47
Susan Sarandon – 71
Julia Roberts – 50
Diane Keaton – 72
Jane Fonda – 80
Lily Tomlin – 78
Sofia Loren – 83
Glenn Close – 71
Michelle Pfeiffer – 60

Anjelica Huston – 66

Stockard Channing – 74
Mary McCormack – 49
Mary McDonnell – 66
Betty White – 96
Meryl Streep – 68
Tamala Jones – 43
Penny Johnson – 57
Susan Sullivan – 75
Christine Adams – 43

Tichina Arnold – 48
Goldie Hawn – 72
(and many, many others)

And possible recruits?
Janelle Monáe – 32

Kearran Giovanni – 36

Zoe Saldana – 39

Make Kristine Sutherland and Susan Sarandon twins!

sentientviolets:

goofy-ruthie:

popculturebrain:

THX Just Shared the Original Sheet Music for its ‘Deep Note’ for the First Time

Look at this lad. Image: THX, Ltd.The Deep Note, the distinctive synthesized crescendo that is THX’s audio trademark, is one of the most iconic sounds in all of film. For the effects firm’s 35th anniversary, they’ve now shared the sheet music behind the sound.

thanks i hate it

this looks like the hell it is to hear