I feel like one of the biggest misconceptions out there is that all fanfic is written by 12 and 13 year olds
Like the other day I read a fanfic where Jason Todd is remodeling his kitchen and is concerned about wooden countertops because what if you get raw chicken on your wooden countertop?
You think a 13 year old thinks about countertops? Think again my friend that fic was written by an Adult
I prefer to split the difference on the “are the Koopalings Bowser’s kids or not?” question by supposing that they’re the children of various noble families that Bowser is fostering at his court, because a. that’s a thing that real-life royalty often did, both to provide the kids with networking opportunities and to keep them handy as hostages against their families’ continued good behaviour, and b. it requires us to posit the existence of a Koopa peerage, which is entertainingly deranged, especially when you start to consider what sorts of noble families would produce these particular heirs.
i’m gonna assume a Hapsburg scenario of large, closely related noble families practicing endogamy, possibly as a result of a dwindling base of unrelated nobility—which would also explain Bowser being the princess-snatching type beyond just land grabs that could be achieved with military force.
How does the fact that Bowser himself lacks biological parents, was raised by the court wizard, and was likely delivered by a stork fit into this?
It’s a Romulus/Remus-esque origin. Bowser is the legendary culture hero of all Koopas, born ex nihilo (per ciconia?) and molded as Arthur into a figure who could unify his otherwise unionless peoples.
In college one of my postdoc friends collected teas. In his office he had an entire floor to ceiling bookshelf of teas from all over the world. Whenever profs/grad students/other postdocs went home for the holidays, they would bring back popular or unique teas from their country. He would share the tea with anyone that asked, like he’d even make the tea for us in his office and we all had brought in our own tea mugs to our office. He’d come around every afternoon asking if anyone wanted to do teatime and okay. So this guy is a 6’4 Romanian man that looks like he could be Hagrid. He became the tea wizard of the physics department and also the cool uncle for all the undergrads
This is also the same guy that went out and brought my roommate and I food when the city flooded and we couldn’t leave our house. This is the guy that hosted the physics department bbq every year.
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