lmao no joke my favorite part of les mis is in “javert at the barricade” when that bouncy music starts playing and gavroche comes for javert’s entire life in front of everyone
A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
* The first-ever mechanically printed book was in German. Johannes Gutenberg was a German blacksmith, goldsmith, printer, and publisher who introduced the concept of printing. His invention of mechanical movable type printing started the Printing Revolution and is widely regarded as the most important event of the modern period. It played a key role in the development of the Renaissance, Reformation, the Age of Enlightenment, and the Scientific Revolution and laid the material basis for the modern knowledge-based economy and the spread of learning to the masses. Gutenberg was the first European to use movable type printing around the year 1439.
* German is the 3rd-most commonly taught language worldwide.
* Statistically, only 2% of Germans do not own a cell phone.
* Germany was the first country to adopt Daylight Saving Time in 1916.
* Gummy bears (Gummibärchen) were invented by a German. Hans Riegel Senior, a confectioner from Bonn, started the HARIBO company in 1920. In 1922, he invented the Tanzbär, a small fruit-flavored gum candy treat, which was basically a larger form of its successor, the Goldbär. Even during 1929’s hyperinflation that wreaked havoc on the country, Haribo’s gummy bear treats remained affordably-priced for a mere 1 Pfennig in pairs at kiosks. Their successor would later become Haribo’s world-famous Gold-Bears in 1967.
Cat, a lifeform specialized in detecting small prey animals and catching them:*sees a mouse, chases it, catches, eats it* Human: “Wow evolution has made such a great hunter, look at it! Amazing!”
Cat:*sees a laser pointer dot, frantically tries to catch it but cannot, as it is just light* Human: “lol too optimised for wanting to catch things am I right”
***
ACT II
Human, a lifeform specialized in using and making tools and seeing if tools are good for different tasks:*sees a knife* “Aha! Someone made this sharp tool to cut things. I see, it’s really good for that!”
Human:*looks at his own body* “Who made this?? What were they thinking? There’s some bigger hidden meaning behind this right? What am I made for… What is the purpose of my mortal life? Am I good? Am I bad? Is there a God? I keep looking for my destiny but alas, I can’t figure it out….”
no but seriously I still get chills thinking about turning off my headlamp in the cave and The Hand That I Did Not Actually See, and it’s been twelve years since it happened
it’s such an unreal experience
like
you turn off your light in a cave and wave your hand in front of your face
and
you can see this shadowy thing moving in the black space where your hand is
it looks like the same shadowy thing you would see in your room at night if you waved your hand in front of your face, it’s there and vaguely hand-shaped, and your brain recognizes it as your hand because your brain is aware of where your hand is and what it is doing
But You Are Not Seeing Anything
Inside a cave, there is No Light. No matter how far your pupils spread, there is no light for them to draw in, no light to put an image on your retina.
But your brain just Fucking Assumes that because it knows where your hand is and what it is doing, clearly it can see it.
So it creates a shadowy thing for your eyes to be seeing.
Brain is like “there’s a hand there”
Eyes are like “yup sure thing brain I can totally see it”
Brain is like “nice”
but there is no hand, you cannot see the hand, you are seeing a literal actual hallucination in the cave because your brain thinks it knows best
Caves are awesome, but also terrifying. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
we once went spelunking, and a our guide said that once he was in a cave with a stream, so he could hear running water, and his brain was like ‘oh, running water? that means there must be Ducks out there’. and he saw like…low light shadows of ducks. that his brain just Put There.
As a cave guide: we call that ‘cave blindness’! True darkness absolutely wigs your brain out – we’re such visual creatures that after a while our brain throws a hissy after not seeing anything. Sensory deprivation is a very real kind of torture. We have a huge, deep cave system at work and there are a lot of places where you’re hundreds of meters in solid rock in this tiny, dark, still space.
I like to turn my torch off, sit down with my back against the wall, and wait to see how long it takes before I start seeing things or feeling like the ground is moving, or hearing things. Because I know I’m not – I’m in complete darkness, utter silence, sitting in rock that hasn’t moved in hundreds, if not thousands, of years.
Proof that brains are Ridiculous and over-react to a lot of stuff!
I want to add to this that people who lose their hearing as adults have reported hearing music “being played loudly from somewhere”, and other auditory hallucinations, bc the brain will just panic and put your brain’s ipod on *fucking shuffle* if it’s not getting any input
aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak
me: thats fair i understand
For some reason I find this all the more amusing because it’s written in English
moi: pourquoi vous détruisez le monde!!! l’extraterrestre: parce que il y a des gens qui pensent que l’anglais est le seule langue pour parler moi: ah ça c’est bien
ich: warum zerstört ihr die erde!!!
aliens: weil es leute gibt die glauben dass englisch die einzige sprache ist die sie sprechen müssen
ich: das ist fair ich verstehe
ég: af hverju eyðileggið þið jörðina!!! aliens: af því að það er fólk sem finnst að enska sé sú eina tungumál sem þau þurfa að tala ég: oh, það er vit í þessu. ég skil.
ik: waarom vernietig je de aarde!!!
aliens: omdat er mensen zijn die denken dat engels de enige taal is die ze hoeven te spreken
ik: oh zo, ik snap het
minä: miks te tuhootte maapalloo?
alienit: koska tääl on ihmisiä joitten mielestä englanti on ainoo kieli jota niitten täytyy puhua
minä: toi on reilua, ymmärrän
私: どうして地球を滅ぼしているんですか？
宇宙人: 英語しか喋る必要がないと思う人がいるからです
私: なるほど、わかりました
me: Wosück maakt ji de Welt twei!!!
aliens: wieldat dat Lüüd gifft, de dinkt dat Engelsch de allenige Spraak weer, de een snacken mütt
me: jo, daar seggst wat. Nu versta ik’t
aniga: dhulka maxaad u burburinaya !!!
shisheeyaha: dadka intiisa badani u malaynayaan in Ingiriisidu tahay afka oo kaliya ay u baahan yihiin inay la hadlaan
aniga: waxaan fahamsanahay. waa wax cadaalad
我：你们为什么在毁灭地球?！！
外星人：因为有人以为他们只会英语就可以了
我：懂了，说得有道理
ako: bakit niyo sinisira ang mundo!!!
taga-ibang planeta: kasi merong mga taong akala nila Ingles lang ang kailangan nilang matutunang lenggwahe
ako: ah, sige naiintindihan ko
Aku : kenapa kau hancurkan bumi!!! Alien : karena masih banyak orang berpikir hanya bahasa inggris satu-satunya bahasa yang terpenting Aku : oh, oke lah..
tôi: tại sao các người hủy diệt trái đất!!!
người ngoài hành tinh: bởi vì có người nghĩ rằng tiếng Anh là thứ tiếng duy nhất mà họ cần biết
tôi: ồ thế thì tôi hiểu
Eu: Por que vocês estão destruindo a Terra?! Aliens: Porque há pessoas que pensam que o inglês é a única língua que eles precisam falar. Eu: Isso é justo, eu entendo.
jag: varför förintar ni jorden!!!
utomjordingar: för det finns folk som tror att engelska är det ända språket de behöver kunna
jag: rimligt, jag förstår
Já: Proč ničíte Zemi?
Mimozemšťani: Protože tu jsou lidé, kteří si myslí, že angličtina je jediný jazyk, který potřebují znát
Já: To je fér, to chápu.
ja: dlaczego niszczycie Ziemię?
kosmici: ponieważ są ludzie, którzy myślą, że angielski to jedyny język, którego potrzebuję
ja: rozumiem, w porządku
io: perchè state distruggendo la terra!!!
alieni: perchè ci sono delle persone che credono che l’inglese sia l’unica lingua di cui hanno bisogno
io: capisco, mi sembra giusto
Yo: porqué estás destruyendo la tierra!?!?
Extraterrestre: porque hay personas quienes creen que inglés es la única lengua que se tiene que hablar.
Yo: te entiendo, es justo.
Я: Почему вы уничтожаете Землю?!?! Инопланетяне: Потому что есть люди, которые считают, что им нужно говорить только по-английски. Я: А, ну понятно, тогда ладно!
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