If I have to pay to use Snapchat or Facebook or tumblr like I’m just not using them, I’m gonna go full into journaling in my private life as a private citizen of the world like Rolodex and everything. U wanna send me anon hate? 25 cents a stamp
my younger cousin’s favorite quote is “mamma mia that is a spicy meatball” and he says it all the time and earlier we went outside to play basketball and he tripped and fell over the uneven concrete and i was about to say are you ok when i heard “mamma mia that is a spicy sidewalk”
these are… “I’m in a fraternity at an Ivy League and think it gives me the right to talk to people however I want” shorts
these are “I rate women on a scale of 1 to 10” shorts
these shorts say “I want to be unexpected and daring, but not unexpected and daring enough to wear something that’s actually shaped substantively differently than the 37 pairs of khaki shorts & Ralph Lauren polo shirts that I chill at my country club in, along with my boating shoes and the Rolex that my dad gave me upon graduation from high school that, as I will tell anyone who will listen, is real”
these shorts say “in elementary school I was in the habit of meeting taunts of ‘my daddy could beat your daddy up’ with the response ‘my daddy could buy your daddy’ and I still get the occasional impulse to say that but it’s not really socially acceptable at this age so I expect these shorts to get that message across for me”
these shorts say “I’m straight and I expect it to be obvious enough that I’m straight that I can get away with wearing these, please sleep with me”
just wear some booty shorts like everyone else you miserable cowards
none of that accurate this is a look
literally do any of these men look straight to you
Also you can buy those shorts at their website, hologram city
why is it when you go to a hair salon as a transmasc/nb person and go “i want something very short and simple. masculine. here’s a photo of a man. that’s how i want my hair to look.” without fail your middle aged hairdresser is like “yes. right. i know exactly what you’re looking for. let me just ….. snip snip” and you come out of there like 2007 kate gosselin
Ok so: I’m cis female but had this problem, in that I could never get them to cut my hair short enough. I eventually found ways to get them to cooperate though – and this was with hair I was sporting from 15-23, so you can probably get them to take you seriously. Keep in mind, though, that a lot of these tips will involve recognizing that you’ve already been misgendered and voluntarily running with that.
First of all, just go to a barbershop instead of a hair salon, if you can. It’s cheaper anyway, and you’re far more likely to get what you want from either a place where every employee has ten tattoos minimum, or from someone who’s mis-aging you not misgendering you
Barring that, e.g. If there’s only one shop nearby or your parents control where you go, pick the stylist with the wildest hair or most tattoos
If you can do so, make yourself sound like a huge lesbian the whole time. I could never get a middle aged white woman to actually take clippers my head if I hadn’t already talked about my (usually imaginary) girlfriend
If you like having your hair clipped/shaved, find out what numbers they use on you next time someone does it right, then tell everyone moving forward. Some still won’t believe you, but saying “I want a 2 into a 5” was always a lot more effective than “I want it shaved up”
Don’t tell them it’s fine until it is. I know this is something we’re socialized into accepting but this is true regardless of who you are and what hair cut you’re getting. If you’re not satisfied, say so. So what if they get annoyed? They’re not doing their job right. You’re paying for a service, you deserve it done the way you want.
On a related note, bribery will get you everywhere. If you live in a place where tipping is normal, and you can afford it, then come prepared with extra cash. If they do it right without you complaining, tip them well and say “hey, you’re the only stylist who’s actually listened, thank you.” If they need more convincing – especially if your parents are the ones paying and you know they’re trying not to piss them off – pull out a $10 or so and go “look, seriously, I will tip you extra if you just cut it boy-short”. It motivated a few ladies for me, when it was an option.
If all else fails, make up a reason you need it that short. You’re playing a character in the school play. You want to piss off your parents/ex/sister. Protest. “My friend has cancer and I want to make her feel less alone”. Yeah, lying sucks, but sometimes you gotta.
To summarize, a vagina can now be constructed from peritoneal tissue, meaning that it will self-lubricate, doesn’t require prior electrolysis, will be stretchier than one made from skin tissue, and doesn’t have any external grafting sites to worry about.
tubby ran out of wet food and i couldn’t get to the pet store before lunch so i had to improvise and made her a scrambled egg
she is intensely dubious about this non-salmon food item
despite how much she loves eggs when i’m eating them, she had no interest in eggs that had been prepared especially for her. fortunately we were able to escape our driveway and get her preferred salmon and gravy, and while we were out i bought a frame for the @viv-draws print i bought her
her standards have finally been met
a couple of people have expressed concern about tubby breaking her dishes, so i just want to note that sometimes when the cups are misaligned in their tray they wobble a little and make a tiny clinking sound. when this happens instead of eating directly out of her dish, tubby will use her paw to bring the food to her mouth in order to prevent any unseemly noises.
