Category: Uncategorized

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

hi-def-doritos:

One time in the 10th grade at lunch, three of the loudest kids were arguing over whether it’s physically possible to suck oneself off. And everybody was too busy arguing in circles to hear the quiet kid in the background who looked up from his book, adjusted his glasses, said, “It’s actually not that difficult,” and calmly returned to reading. I’ve never really gotten over it.

this is my favorite post, i keep remembering it and getting it confused when it’s not one of those legendary 200k note posts

itsaruse:

edromyheart:

My landlord came to fix an issue to day with the apartment. He looks around the living room at the decor and the newly painted walls.

In a heavy Russian accent: “Your wife have very good sense of style.”

Me: “Actually, I live here alone.”

Landlord: “Ah, homosexual. Figured. I live in the apartment under you.”

Me: 😳

budgiebazooka:

anti-anti-survivor:

pumpkinvictor:

pumpkinvictor:

pumpkinvictor:

pumpkinvictor:

if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild

brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery tummy. it’ll jiggle.

me: no??? that’s mean???

brain: polar bear, then

me: no

brain: the lions just got fed raw meat

me: yes?

brain: steal it and eat it in front of them

me: …

rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i could have received

I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think the cronch will be, brain. 

sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of the first human to eat something really weird and then you see this post and stop wondering

colt-kun:

imthehuggernaut:

pup-rusty:

yup-that-exists:

Follow us on Instagram too: https://www.instagram.com/yup.that.exists

Can we figure out a way to do this to student loan debt.

I would read Ayn Rand to pay down my student loans

Our library ran the expenses and realized we spent about 3,000$ MORE than what we got back in trying to collect late fees. So? We dropped them completely. No late fees. Period.

If you keep a book, it auto renews two times. Then it comes up as overdue. If your overdue items exceed a certain amount, your account freezes. You can’t use any of the local libraries anymore until you return the items or claim them lost and pay for them. If someone else is waiting for the book, you can’t renew. Its that simple.

And guess what. Not only did we save money, but we /got more materials back/. More materials were turned in than declared lost as compared to before. There was no stigma to it. If you had already paid for the item, the money was credited back to you.

Because the people late fees actually affected were children and elderly adults – people unable to regularly get to the library. And the stigma of late items was dropped. Attitude and mindset are important.

we still have no late fees. And we are considered to be one of the top public systems in our state. People from out of state PAY to get library cards for a year because our online Overdrive system is amazing, and we have a ton of partnerships and interlibrary loan systems in place. AND we suffer less losses of both materials and patrons due to our “no late fee” policy.

Serve your public. Don’t belittle them.

thegestianpoet:

thegestianpoet:

new game: strip poker but instead of clothes you’re stripping away levels of your online anonymity and dignity. i make a bad play and have to show my deviantart journals circa 2008. i go all in and end up having to reveal my AO3 bookmarks.

the final loser has to show their unedited browsing history on both their phone and their computer, AND the contents of the recycle bin of their laptop