I often refer to my bottle-raised lamb as my adopted daughter, because it’s mostly true, it temporarily keeps nosy strangers from knowing I’m an eeeevil childfree woman, and it’s hilarious when people find out. And by that time they’re usually too disturbed by the “her-daughter-is-a-sheep” thing to get on my case about the “woman-with-no-husband-or-kids-oh-the-horror” thing.
Most of my friends are aware that I do this, and will back me up in conversations without batting an eye when I reference my daughter. And the best part is that they literally never drop the story. They just 100% all the time accept that I have a two-year-old adopted daughter. The fact that she happens to be a sheep is an unimportant detail, not worth mentioning until an anecdote gets too weird to plausibly be about a human toddler.
Which actually takes much longer than you’d think, since human toddlers apparently have absolutely zero sense. “She bites if you stop paying attention to her” is believable, “she tries to eat rocks out of the landscaping” is believable, “she stuck her head through a fence and couldn’t get out” is believable. “She jumped a five foot fence and came screaming back into the house through the dog door when I left her outside in the pasture” does get some strange looks, though usually not for the right reason.
Occasionally the joke gets turned around on me, though. I posted a picture on my not-tumblr blog of her wearing my glasses, and every comment was “Oh my gosh she looks just like you!!!” “I would never have known she was adopted If you hadn’t told me!!” “Are you sure that’s not an old picture of you?!”
we’re almost in the ‘20s and dadaism is thriving, europe’s in a shambles, everyone is broke and the right wing is on the rise so i guess we really don’t learn a goddamn thing huh
if you ever feel bad about your body remember that Wonder Woman has cellulite too
Whoever is writing this is doing God’s work
Literally one of the best things I have ever read.
I’m writing about Wondy right now and I adore this.
I’m so glad that I was able to write a Wonder Woman story for Sensation Comics a while ago. Huge thanks to DC editor Kristy Quinn for believing in me, and to Neil Googe and Len O’Grady for their magnificent art.
my friend told me that he thought I’d be the final girl in a horror movie and honestly I think the new trend should be complimenting your friends by telling them what tv trope they remind you of
You notice how Trump demolished the food safety laws and now, in the past month, we haven’t been able to eat lettuce, eggs, Tyson chicken, and watermelon because there are huge bacteria outbreaks?
