Category: Uncategorized

toolmutual:

toolmutual:

i will say the funniest thing i’ve ever fucking seen on a tv soap is when my mum was watching holby city (british medical drama) many many years ago and there was this one really arrogant anaesthetist and he was bragging about something or other while holding a charged defibrillator pad in each hand and triumphantly clapped them together and just straight up electrocuted himself and fucking died. it was supposed to be like a serious scene but nothing i’ve ever watched since has surpassed that level of comedy

it’s so much fucking funnier than i remember

everyoneliesnoexceptions:

i had a dream last night that i don’t remember much of but i remember tan france from queer eye was in it and he was giving me advice about a girl i was into. queer eye being a show i’ve never seen apart from gifsets and screenshots on tumblr. so next time you start to doubt the power of the gays™ just remember that i had a dream where tan france guest starred and i’ve never even seen the show he’s in. 

simonalkenmayer:

boomsomeknowledge:

learnjp:

when did the Japanese start eating eggs? a long たまご.

for dumbasses like me who don’t speak Japanese

Polyglot puns

divide-by-triple-zero:

thebibliosphere:

kingkilling-and-stormlight:

birdcage:

kingkilling-and-stormlight:

khancrackers:

kingkilling-and-stormlight:

Person A: hey why do you look so tired and have bite marks all over your neck?

Person B, who got fucked within an inch of their life the night before and is about to invent vampires: oh haven’t you heard?

#and that mans name was lord byron

You made it better

No, it was John Polidori. Byron wrecked him thoroughly the night before. Facts only.

Thank you for your correction. There can only be facts in this gothic dragging

*snorts*

@therebewhaleshere has the spirit of the thing perfectly nailed