theshitneyspears:

welcome to my yeet and greet

#i say hello then i throw you across the room

darkmelaningirls:

Love to my dark skin Asians

And people who claim that dark skinned Asians aren’t a thing in Asian especially Japan are promoting colonialist bullshit.

ju-gg:

No one talks about how seeing celebrities in real life breaks your brain.

For example, a few days ago, at a nice little bakery near Byron Bay, I ordered an iced latte and stepped to the side to wait, I was one of only a two or three people in line. A few moments later everyone else has their drinks, and a gentleman walks up to the counter with his wife and his dog.

It’s a cute dog, it’s a beautiful lady, it’s a handsome man.

Wait, that’s not a handsome man.

That’s a handsome Chris Hemsworth.

It occurs to me that this man is, in fact, the god of thunder, the cute dumb possessed one from ghostbusters, the huntsman from that one Snow White remake with Bella from twilight. Yes, that is Chris Hemsworth.

Now, I’m torn because while the counter staff are (understandably) fawning over the celebrity who they seem to have encountered a few times before, my iced latte has been forgotten. I’m standing to the side, two feet from Chris Hemsworth trying to decide wether to focus on him, or his dog.

His back is to me, he has a very cute dog.

I focus on the dog.

A while passes and Chris and his dog and his wife start to leave, and then they’re walking away which is fine. A lady behind the counter looks at me.

“You had the latte?” She says, grabbing the milk jug from under the steamer.

“Iced latte.” Her coworker corrects her, pouring my drink, “I’ve got it.”

He looks to me, “sorry for the wait, we were a bit disracted.”

“Yeah, I get it,” I say, “that was a really cute dog.”

They stare at me.

They think I’m serious.

I look like a fool.

“I’m kidding.” I say finally and they both laugh as he hands me my beverage, after fifteen minutes of waiting.

I wasn’t mad that I had to wait.

I get it.

But now, a few days later, a gif crosses my dash, one of Chris Hemsworth; a blooper from Thor: Ragnarok.

Before now I’d think “wow what an attractive man. Beautiful. Stunning.”

Now all I can think is “that man made me wait fifteen minutes for a latte.”

It’s fine.

I got my drink.

However, Thor in my mind is no longer Thor…. he is latte man.

c-bassmeow:

trebled-negrita-princess:

theuppitynegras:

I love vintage stuff but I’m so glad I can enjoy them in the 21st century with my iphone, wifi and slightly more human rights

somebody gets it.

http://dontbeanassbutt.tumblr.com/post/180151488916/audio_player_iframe/dontbeanassbutt/tumblr_ph2tqtsbKB1x78cyg?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fdontbeanassbutt%2F180151488916%2Ftumblr_ph2tqtsbKB1x78cyg

snarthurt:

truestoriesaboutme:

ravenslunas:

i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic

Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit

I’m…I’m sorry, I just this minute realized that there are people out there who have no idea that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the best fictional father out there. You guys don’t mind if I bombard your entire dashboard with proof right? Excellent.

marauders4evr:

BONUS: Doofenshmirtz around children he literally just met who wrecked his ‘inator’.

Literally I could go on and on with examples but my computer’s starting to crash from the amount of images.

The point is that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the greatest fictional father out there and anyone who says otherwise was hit by a Lie-inator.

I made some ASMR ambient atmosphere mixes for your highly specific needs

runnerfivestillalive:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

1.) Haunted campout in a northern forest where strange beasts lurk in the distance and whispers of the unquiet dead keep you awake through the long dark night
2.) The Joker is probably getting ready to murder you horribly in an abandoned warehouse
3.) Killer Croc hunts you through the Gotham sewers, occasionally eating corpses
4.) Man has pleasant vanilla sex with a monster in cheap motel bed
5.) You’re the last gunslinger marching across a dreary wasteland after the world has moved on, pursuing the man in black across the desert while the machines of the old world still hum their death throes

6.) woman flees across frozen tundra from evil mechanical whales from another dimension
7.) frightend young boy is chased through forest by the Wild Hunt and their eldritch hounds

8.) Baba Yaga has kidnapped you and prepares to cannibalize you as part of a hearty and well-balanced meal
9.) Drinking a stolen soda at the bottom of the Mariana Trench and burping from the highly-pressurized gas
10.) mute woman has quiet sexy encounter with an amphibious monster in an aquarium
11.)

n00b necromancer digs up bones from a church graveyard for the first time, crying with guild and anxiety as angry spirits murmur in anger at her trespassing

12.) Hiding scared and alone in the dark as the fabric of reality is unwoven by interdimensional forces beyond our understanding, and the world as we know it comes to a dark and brutal end
13.) Amateur cryptid-hunter hikes alone through woods on a breezy summer’s day, searching for evidence of the paranormal and oblivious to danger
14.) lesbian lumberjack chops down tree in the early morning while thinking dreamily about her new wife

I’m seriously impressed by how much story and emotion these hold.

sp00ky-teacup:

williamhmasqets:

fandomsandfeminism:

firebreathingeli:

Please watch this series of Japanese gum commercials

You won’t regret it I promise

……wow

omg

OMG?

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)